Advise Column

Advise seems to be everywhere. Friends, family, and complete strangers have plenty to say whenever you have a problem (or even when you don't). Isn't it odd that many of us have plenty to offer when someone else has a problem, but when it's us in need of a solution, we never have one. Anyway, here is my advise to anyone who needs it. Take it or don't. It doesn't matter. I will say this, though. Over the years, I have heard many things, and while they sound optimistic, there isn't a lot to them. EX 1: "practice makes perfect" But wait...I thought "Nobody is perfect". EX 2: "Quit while you're ahead." Well that's funny...I thought "quitters never win and winners never quit." Hmmm...Contradictory statements. You know why that is, don't you? Because then, no matter which side of the fence the apple falls on, you're covered. How helpful.

Now to the advise that I endorse. I have only heard two good, solid pieces of advise in my life. I will now share them with you.

Everything is OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end

I tell you what, I LIVE BY THIS. Starting in like, January, I had some major problems goin on in my life. I'm not compelled to fill you in on the details, but maybe in another post. Anyway, since then, I have had a lot of times that I just thought everything was as bad as it could possibly be. Everything was in complete turmoil, I didn't know what I could do to sort things out. Everything I thought of was either too hard to do or had so many down-sides that I didn't know how much good it would really do. It seemed like the whole world was crashing down around me and there was nothing I could do to save it, or myself. During those times, I had to keep reminding myself that Fate has a reason for everything she does, and that God has a plan for me. If something is meant to work out in the end, it will. No matter what you do to fuck it up, if it is meant to be, it will happen. If it's not meant to be, no matter how hard you try to hold on, it will always slip out of your hands. Sure, you might feel like shit for a long time, but ultimately, things will get better. It may take weeks, months, or years. But everything will get sorted out, and you will look back on that time, remember how horrible it felt, and be so glad that you stuck it out and came out so well.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it will be yours forever. If not, it was never meant to be.

The first time I ever read this was on a small plaque that my dad has in his den. I didn't think about it a lot, being only 4 years old, but I never forgot it. Now, at 18, I understand what it means. My boyfriend and I got along great for 2 years. But then, things started to fall apart. We kept fighting over then same things, and quite frequently. If you've ever heard the song "Burn" by Usher, you know how I was feeling. I loved him, I really did, but things just weren't working out, and no matter how much it hurt, I know that I had to let the relationship go now, because staying together would end up hurting more in the end. So we took a break. Both of us were going through a lot of extreme emotions and I felt like a complete bitch. On the other hand, I knew that I needed this, to see what would happen, how I would feel. After awhile, I began to see how much I had been taking for granted the most wonderful person I ever met. Rather than see him as exceptional, I instead expected all guys to live up to the standard he had set. And they didn't. And I realized that I loved him with everything I had. I swallowed my pride and told him how I felt. He acted like he didn't care that I came back, but I know he did. And I try now to prove to him that my love is true, and that I didn't just come back because I knew he would let me. We never want to go through a time like that again, and we have worked out our problems, as well as learned a better way to deal with new ones that may come up. When I dropped the bomb about splitting up, he told me that he believed in his heart that I was the one for him, no matter what I thought. I think I always knew he was right, I just needed to prove it.