EVEN GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR

Just look at the platypus.

A Couple Of Llamas Looking As Though They Were About To Cause Some Mischief

If you're like me, you have always wondered what noise a llama makes. It keeps you up at night. You no longer do the things that you like doing. You're friends all think there is something wrong, but you just can't quite bring yourself to tell them. They begin to think that you don't trust them anymore, and so they eventually stop comming around. You sit. Alone. Disheartened. Uneducated. This sad, lonely life leads you to drinking. And one day, as you sit in your drunken stupor watching re-runs of Happy Days, it dawns on you. LLAMAS AREN'T REAL!!!!


Just kidding!!! They are, in fact, very real! And you may click here to find out what they sound like when they sit around with their friends and play poker. (note that they actually still have friends, because they all already know very well what noise they make)

CROSSFADE

SEETHER

For those who didn't know, I got to go to a Seether/Crossfade concert in August. They performed in Sioux Falls at the fair with Dark New Day as their opening act. It was the first concert I have ever been to. It was the awesomest thing ever! I love seether, and so I had been playing their newest CD for weeks and weeks. My favorite song of theirs, though, is definately Remedy. The only Crossfade song that I know is "Cold". I am in love with that song (as you can tell by the title of the site...). No matter how many times you listen to a song on the radio/CD/MP3, that is nothing compared to hearing it live. The energy in the crowd was amazing. When they played Remedy, I was in a trance from the first note to the last chord. I cannot stress enough how AMAZING it was...It was one of the best experiences I have ever had.

I Have Never Before Been Chased By A Flock Of Guinneas

This I Know To Be True!!!!

Nicole Webster

This post is long overdue, and I'm much too tired to explain everything in detail. Perhaps later on I will revisit this post and make things less vague. But for now, I would just like to say this.


NICOLE WEBSTER IS AN IMMATURE, EGO-CENTRIC, INCONSIDERATE, TWO-FACED, LYING BIIIITTTCCCHHHH

Thank you.

My Thoughts As I Stare Off Into Bolivia

So basically, I used to have this idea that if someone disagreed with or felt uncomfortable with something that I was doing or how I felt, I must do all in my power to explain my point of view to them. Even if they still didn't agree, hopefully they could understand. I really hated to have others thinking bad things about me, and if they must, I at least wanted them to be based on fact rather than on rumors or assumptions. But I have explained myself to some people over and over. They know my weaknesses. They know my insecurities. They know that I make mistakes and that I regret them and that I'll probably make them again. They know I'm a hypocrite at times. Who isn't? But I try and be fair. Even if I do comment on the character flaw of another, I will, if provoked (and sometimes on my own), admit that I have similiar problems. In all fairness, to myself and to others, I think that most flaws seem alot more substantial when they belong to someone else. I also believe that before you judge someone [I mean really judge them...not just make overexaggerated observations and bitch, but when forming your final opinions after a sufficient cool-down] that you should have as much of an understanding of their point of view as they will give you. Also, always assume that there is some unforeseen circumstances that you are unaware of. That isn't always the case, but you never know when it may be. That is precisely why I feel compelled to provide my side. If it involves admitting faults, then so be it.

But lately, I have decided that I no longer will worry myself over this. OK, so in all honesty, I probably will. But for those who don't know me that well, who cares what they think? I know this is a basic philosophy that mainy claim to follow, but really, who doesn't care at least a little bit about what others thing? I'm still going to care, but not as much. And for my close friends...well it was always their opinions that mattered the most. Just the slightest bit of negative feedback from them ruins my whole mood, no matter how inflated it previously was. I, naturally, will come back later and try to explain my side. But for goodness sake...they should already understand me well enough. And in any case, I don't have to answer to them. (I love that sentence. Just saying it in my head and knowing that I believe it makes me feel as though I have just made a breakthrough in the journey to my well-being.) They make choices that heaven knows I disagree with, but its not my business. If they ask me for advice, I will give it. Otherwise, I just try and let them go and if they screw up...well that's life. And I don't see why I should bother myself with reminding people for the seven hundreth time of how I feel and my background and blah blah blah blah blah...They already know enough about me, and if they still don't understand why I am how I am, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to help them.

Did You Ever Eat Paint Chips As A Kid?

Sandwiches are very friendly things. They fill your belly with substance and prevent it from eating itself. They are very versitile. They don't much mind what they are compossed of, so long as they fulfill their ultimate purpose in life. That purpose, however morbid, is what they live for! That purpose is to be grinded down by the blunt teeth residing in the backmost regions of most homosapians. There is no wrong way to eat a Reese's, and there is no wrong way to eat a sandwich. I personally like to rip off and consume the crust and surrounding area first, then excavate my way through the top slice, then through each layer of innards until i reach the bottom slice. At this point, my journey is finished. I feel satisfied and ready for anything!

I might add, in my closing, that one way I don't like to eat my sandwiches is with paint chips.

In College, You Start To Come Up With Your Own Recipies

OH NO!!! I'm one cracker short of a pickle and cheese sandwich!
-Crystal

Some Words Of Advice From The Creator Of Lord Of The Rings

"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him."

-J.R.R Tolkien

Sex and Death

"How much footage can you take of one woman's breasts? So when she throws her arms up they bobble up and down, big deal, toss up a cabbage and that comes down, too, why don't they show us five minutes of cole slaw?"

- from the play Sex and Death by Diana Amsterdam

Random Bits From HP that I Thought Were Mildly Amusing

"'Harry Potter knows that he can confide in me with complete confidence,' I told them. 'I would rather die than betray his trust.'"

"That's not saying much, seeing as you're already dead," Ron observed.

"Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe," said Nearly Headless Nick in affronted tones.

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"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"

"Yes," said Harry stiffly.

"Yes, sir."

"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor."

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"If you tell them," said Ron, shoving the necklace out of sight under his pillow, "I - I - I'll -"

"Stutter at me?" said Harry, grinning. "Come on, would I?"

"How could she think I'd like something like that, though?" Ron demanded of thin air, looking rather shocked.

"Well, think back," said Harry. "Have you ever let it slip that you'd like to go out in public with the words 'My Sweetheart' round your neck?"

"Well... we don't really talk much," said Ron. "It's mainly . . ."

"Snogging," said Harry.

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"I don't want to stay here overnight," said Harry angrily, sitting up and throwing back his covers. "I want to find McLaggen and kill him."

"I'm afraid that would come under the heading of 'overexertion,'" said Madam Pomfrey.

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"I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshment," Dumbledore said to Uncle Vernon, "but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness."

Just A Little Poem I Wrote...

This poem was inspired at 12:22 AM whilst eating freshly prepared Ramen Noodles (The Breakfast of Champions)

my tongue was burnt upon the fork,

upon the fork,

upon the fork.

my tongue was burnt upon the fork,

the fork of stainless china

I Would Like To Make An Ammendment

TYLER, I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im sorry that it seems as though Im always ignoring you or forgetting about you. That's not the case. In fact, I think about you alot more than I should...

But I just wanted to make a public announcement that I really miss you, and I wish you would call me cuz you said you would...

Looking In The Yellow Pages For Part-Time Job Ideas

Crystal (scanning the headings): I could get a job as a contact lens!
Darci: That would be an eye-opening experience!
Crystal: Yes. Very insightful.

Conversation Overheard at Naptime at the Daycare

Melissa: Madi, you need to go lay down.
Madi: Go buhbye?
Melissa: Not yet. Time to go nuh-nite. Then go buhbye after snack.
Madi: Buhbye?
Melissa: After snack. After we have a cookie.
Nick: My mommy and daddy went to the grocery store and they got some cookies!!!!
Erica: My mommy and daddy went to the grocery store too!!
Melissa: No, they went to Ireland.
Erica: Ya! They went to Ireland.



OK, so maybe you had to be there...

OK, you know how on jars of pickles and the like, it says "do not purchase if the safety button is up."? Well what if you were half done with your jar of pickles and then you took it back to the store demanding a refund or exchange? When the cashier pointed out to you the fact that half the pickles were gone and therefore a refund would not be granted, you could inform them that you "hadn't realized the button was up until you ate half of the pickles."

(***If you dont get this, please see note 1 below)

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NOTES:
1. The safety button on a sealed jar pops up when the jar is first opened, by the consumer or any other party, and remains up for eternity