My Thoughts As I Stare Off Into Bolivia

So basically, I used to have this idea that if someone disagreed with or felt uncomfortable with something that I was doing or how I felt, I must do all in my power to explain my point of view to them. Even if they still didn't agree, hopefully they could understand. I really hated to have others thinking bad things about me, and if they must, I at least wanted them to be based on fact rather than on rumors or assumptions. But I have explained myself to some people over and over. They know my weaknesses. They know my insecurities. They know that I make mistakes and that I regret them and that I'll probably make them again. They know I'm a hypocrite at times. Who isn't? But I try and be fair. Even if I do comment on the character flaw of another, I will, if provoked (and sometimes on my own), admit that I have similiar problems. In all fairness, to myself and to others, I think that most flaws seem alot more substantial when they belong to someone else. I also believe that before you judge someone [I mean really judge them...not just make overexaggerated observations and bitch, but when forming your final opinions after a sufficient cool-down] that you should have as much of an understanding of their point of view as they will give you. Also, always assume that there is some unforeseen circumstances that you are unaware of. That isn't always the case, but you never know when it may be. That is precisely why I feel compelled to provide my side. If it involves admitting faults, then so be it.

But lately, I have decided that I no longer will worry myself over this. OK, so in all honesty, I probably will. But for those who don't know me that well, who cares what they think? I know this is a basic philosophy that mainy claim to follow, but really, who doesn't care at least a little bit about what others thing? I'm still going to care, but not as much. And for my close friends...well it was always their opinions that mattered the most. Just the slightest bit of negative feedback from them ruins my whole mood, no matter how inflated it previously was. I, naturally, will come back later and try to explain my side. But for goodness sake...they should already understand me well enough. And in any case, I don't have to answer to them. (I love that sentence. Just saying it in my head and knowing that I believe it makes me feel as though I have just made a breakthrough in the journey to my well-being.) They make choices that heaven knows I disagree with, but its not my business. If they ask me for advice, I will give it. Otherwise, I just try and let them go and if they screw up...well that's life. And I don't see why I should bother myself with reminding people for the seven hundreth time of how I feel and my background and blah blah blah blah blah...They already know enough about me, and if they still don't understand why I am how I am, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to help them.