Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

My favorite book has been made into a movie, and it comes out tomorow. I'm sure that I won't get to see it for a few weeks (Watertown is slow sometimes) but ya...I hope it doesn't suck. I'm sure though,, after reading the book series, the movie will be a dissapointment...it always is that way, you know...


***Interesting Tidbit
If you go to google, and search for "the answer to life, the universe, and everything" the google calculator will answer "42" (you really must read the books to understand this...)

The Answers To All Life's Important Questions

Click here for the answer to all of your questions, according to Shaggy

A Reminder About The Disclaimer...

I appreciate the concern shown towards be as a result of some of my previous posts. I would just like to remind everyone that this site comes with a disclaimer, and for good reason. I used to have a diary when I was younger. My "friends" kept finding and reading it, and because of that, I became unable to put my thoughts and feelings into a tangible form for fear that they would be read. I am finally getting over that. I understand that the point of this blog is for it to be read, and I love that there are at least two people who read it (haha). However, I ask you all (both) to remember that what I may say at one point may not be how I feel ten minutes later. I post things that are in my head, and this is a daring move, as there were lots of oppurtunities for upsetting alot of people. Luckily, none of them read this...

Anyway, my point (it's in there somewhere...) is this: I am going to try really hard to not let anyone or anything prevent me from using this blog as a ventilation place. Writing out my thoughts makes them more sorted, real, and able to be shared with others in an organized and permament form. In regards to my previous and future posts, don't think too much on them. If I have such a serious problem, I do know enough to talk to someone about it. Remember, I was talking to David last time...true, it was the talk that we had which lead me to that point, however, had I been set on killing myself, he have had a much harder time stopping me. The look on his face when I just mentioned it was enough to make me remember that I am loved. I know that I am blessed with a bunch of friends, and I know that the world is full lots of things that I would never want to leave.

I'm Starting To Understand How Harry Felt...

When Harry Potter first arrived in at Hogsmeade, he is following Hagrid around town to collect all of the things he needs for school. Imagine yourself as a small boy in an unknown place, speed-walking as fast as you can to keep up with the leisurely pace of the giant man leading you around. All you can see are his broad shoulders and a mass of long hair bobbing way up in the air in front of you. You try to keep up, not wanting to become lost without him...

This is how I felt today. Ryan, a boy in my Wellness class, and I both had some worksheets missing. Our teacher gave us a workbook and told us to make copies of the ones we needed. Ryan offered to make copies for me, and so I was following him across campus, into a building, up stairs, down stairs, down the hall, and all over the place to find the copy machine that he knew how to use. I couldn't help but laugh to myself, because I really felt like I was Harry and he was Hagrid.

It is such a good thing that I was able to get those worksheets made, though. As you made have noticed, I am a bit stressed about school right now...I am getting a C in at least one class (horrible by my standards) and my Algebra class...don't even talk to me about it!! I have been falling behind in all my classes, actually. Except for English. I may have really disliked my teacher, but his toughness has forced me to go to class (each subsuquent absense from now on results in an automatic deduction of one letter grade from my semester grade!) and therefore do all the assignments and be prepared. Math on the other hand...ya...thought it was easy, stuff I did in 8th grade. All I had to do was show up for tests. Well to keep it simple, IM FUCKED!!! He won't let me make up the test I missed, and I'll have to study/reveiw my ass off to get an A on the final. That's a high mark to shoot for, but it's my only hope in passing the class. Its a requirement, and I am not gonna allow myself to have to pay for it again, damnit! Plus I'm deathly afraid of losing my Opportunity Scholarship, which requires a cumulative GPA of 3.0 or above (never a problem before!!) I feel like such a fucking retard. But this last week, I have actually been getting things accomplished. I am almost caught up all my classes (math is the only one lagging now). I just have to remember that studying for the finals is crucail at this point. Thankfully, all of my friends feel the same way, and even the ones that aren't in school want me to do well, and so there shouldn't be any interferences.

Well, I've wasted enough time now. I'd best get back to work!

Kids Say The Darnest Things...

Working at a day-care, I hear alot of interesting things...

While pushing two girls on the swings...

Aerial(age 3): You've got fat boobies, right?
Me: What?!
Aerial: You've got fat boobies.
Me: Sure...
Aerial: My mommy and my daddy do, too. I don't. Not 'til I grow up, right?
Me: Yup!
Brittany(age 5): I have a swing-set...

(I don't know what's funnier...the fact that Aerial's mommy and daddy have "fat boobies" or Brittany out of nowhere..."I have a swing-set...")

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Emily, age 2, was laying in my lap with her blankie. I was cuddling and tickling her, and at one point, I said:

Me: I've got my Emily, all wrapped up in a blanket!

Emily (pushing the blanket away with a look of terror and betrayal on her face): I'm not wrapped up in a blanket. I'm just a regular human!

(where does she get this stuff?? One day, she was like "My apologies to my mother!!". I wasn't there that day, so I dunno why she said it, but its still cute!)

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Carter, at age 1, is at the stage when everything goes in his mouth. He walks up to me with a very plain looking green and yellow plastic boat bath toy in his mouth.

Me: Hey Carter, what you eatin?

Carter (very matter-of-factly): A boat. (at this, he toddles away...)

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Emily (while spinning around in circles to the music): I'm too little to rock and roll.

Me and David got a fishy. It's a betta (of course). Its the most beautiful blue I have ever seen!! We were both freaking out about it, so Kristy got it for us in addition to the one she picked for herself. I hope he realizes that he has full responsibility of it over the summer...

I'm thinking about naming it Tiberious ( I know, I'm strange...its some name I heard in History of Western Civilization class...)

We could call it Ty...that's not a strange name...

Random Quote From Kristy

Hey! Why's your dick caved in? - Kristy (to her son while changing his diaper)

Why Is Everything So Funny At 3:00 am??

Last night, David and I were sitting in my car talking, and suddenly I felt a draft. Note that the word "draft" sounds "giraffe". That was fucking hilarious last night! We just kept repeating the two words and laughing insanely at the fact that that we couldn't tell which one we were saying...

Ya, I know. We're crazy. Also note that "mule" backwards is "elum".
I won't even try explaining the hilarity behind this word, because it is impossible for anyone but David to understand it...

It's A Beautiful Day?

I guess we will wait and see if that holds true...School almost over...dunno what to think about that. I like being in Aberdeen with my friends, but I feel obligated to go home. That's it. I don't like going home. If my dad and Daniel moved to Aberdeen, I would never go home. There's other people I like to see from home, but they can come up here for a change, dangit!! I am also starting to get really irritated with certain people up here, so maybe going home is a good thing. I dunno...I guess I just have to concentrate on finishing school and passing...summer vacation is inevitable so I'll just take things as they come. I have to go meet with my advisor to make my schedule for next fall, so buhbye.

My Roommate The Computer Geek...

"Hey, did you know they elected a new pope." - Sakura
"Ya. We saw that on TV yesterday, remember? He was being installed." - Felicia

This Is Me Being Thoughtful..

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

Sometimes, in fits of honesty or self realization, you may allow thoughts to become tangible in forms of written or spoken expression which are in turn interpreted by the very people that shouldn't be allowed access to that information. Once your private thoughts are out in the open, for better or worse, there is no way to take them back. But maybe that is a good thing...because you don't always realize the power of your words until they have had awhile to soak into the fibers of the world. Once you understand their full effect, you may be glad that you weren't able to snatch them back at the first sign of dissaproval.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It is (probably) optimal to always tell the truth...or at least most of the time. It is also (probably) a good idea to never do anything that needs lying about, although not all things are in your complete control.

OK. My thoughtfulness just left...sorry to leave you hanging, but these bursts only show up for a short amount of time...

At the risk of sounding like Felicia...

I HATE MONEY!!!

I have about $40 to my name right now, and I own NSU $25 for a stupid parking ticket, I owe BMG $50 for CDs and late charges (honestly not too worried about this...) and who knows how big my fucking cell phone bill is gonna be!! At least $60, I'm sure...I really hate to do it but I'm gonna have to ask my uncle for money...Maybe I could sell some stuff...My N64...ya...it's in great condition. Anyone wanna buy it??? Please??? Oh and I have a PS2 game...(I don't even have a PS2...)

Maybe I could sell myself on the street...eww no prolly not!

...

secrets i keep hidden...hidden from those who think they know me...no one knows me, not even me...isolating myself from the world...just let me sit in the fragment of reality that is my own twisted mind...allow me to live in my fantasy...allow me to live in peace, inviting members of my personal community in...one at a time...all i ask...please don't judge me...i do care what you think...i do...too much...just let me be...its my life...its my fantasy...if i want you there i will bring you to my world...ramblings...thats all this is...my mind forms thoughts...i feel detatched from the world...i feel so happy...living a lie...hiding...avoiding...running...trying to run my own life...my way...disregard for responsibility...no concept of time...becoming scared that it will all fall down in my face and the friends i pushed away will stand and laugh...

those that i care about may never know...i cant express my feelings properly anymore...love by domination...seems logical...doesn't really, but what do i know?

please dont leave me...know that somewhere deep inside this confused person is the girl who charms snakes...the one whom everyone loves...why do they love me?

what is so specail...i dont see it...all i see is me...and i am a psychotic confused mess

Random Notes:

Chinchillas really can ruin the mood...


We (Mal, Felicia, and I) actually did memorize the alphabet backwords

The Pope's New Groove

We are learning how to write html in English class (don't ask why...) and so anyway we are just practicing now with random text and images. The the image that I chose was of a white goat. The block of text I copied is about the pope...

Not sure that this is really a proper fit...

My Car Is PIMPIN!!!

YAY!!! I finally got a CD player in my car!!! (Thank you David!!)

History Class

Today in history, Dias was explaining what he did and didn't want to see in our term papers. One thing he mentioned was no rough language. After that point, he purposely threw in swear words in the rest of his lecture, never actually saying them, just implying. So ya then my phone rings. Its Mal. I apoligized, and then Dias says "Why don't you tell them that you are really f-ing busy." I was like "Can I really?" He said yes, so I answered "Hi Mallory. I'm in Dias's class and he wanted me to tell you that I'm really f-ing busy. I'll call you back, ok?" The whole class had gotten quite to listen to me. It got a few laughs. I'm sure my face was red, but it was great. *smile*

Congratulations!!!

My car had a baby!!!

Now allow me to explain: The other day, Shaggy was trying to park behind my car as close as he could in order to leave enough room behind him for Kristy's car. He parked so close that they were touching. We somehow turned that to mean that they were having sex. Hours later, he accidently hit me again with his car. I exclaimed " Are you fucking me again??" He said he was, and I told him that I would let him know if my car got pregnant. Part two goes as follows: Mal, Felicia, and I were trying to memorize the alphabet backwards. We were trying to group the letters into sounds that would be easier to remember. One part was "RQPO". Say it once fast. It sounds like a mixture of R2D2 and C3PO (Star Wars). Somehow, I decided that my car was R2D2 and Shaggy's was C3PO, and that the baby that they would have together would be called RQPO. So we went to the store and bought a 94 cent Hotwheels car that somehow alomost resembles a mix of our cars. I am going to go over to Shaggy's and demand child support.

This post is to Tammy...my email is too damn slow...

Me=scared shitless of authority
Katie=loves to call the cops to prove that she is an adult

If her aunt (as she considers her) tells her "hey, so and so did this, will you please call the cops for me" of course she will do it. It doesn't sound so unreasonable...except for the fact that it was a stupid reason to call in the first place (im talking about what she told the cops, not the real reason, being that she was mad at him i suposse, which is an extremely dumb reason) and also the fact that if joyce has a problem with something, she should have the balls to take care of it herself. And really, dont cops have more serious matters to deal with? if i was the cop, i would have said "thats too bad lady, just ground him or something. dont freakin bother me with shit like that". but ya...i'll talk to katie about it...its quite possible that she doesnt realize that joyce has major pms and what shes pissed about.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

I have come to the ultimate decision that nothing matters. Not even this post. I have so much to say. So much going on in my head, yet I just can't grasp any one thought long enough to read it. Just know that I died from confusion. Did youever wonder about what you would write in a suicide letter? I don't know what I would say. I wouldn't be able to think of everything that I would want to say to everyone. I'm sure I would leave some people out, and leave many to never understand what I was feeling. Also, I have read a friends letter, and it is not a fun thing. I woudn't want someone to have to read about all my contradictions. I could nver express everything in a short letter, and what's the use of wasting time on a long one? Who would read it?

IF YOU HAD ONE LAST CHANCE TO TELL THE WORLD THE THINGS YOU KEPT INSIDE/ONE MORE DAY TO RELEASE THE THOUGHTS THAT MUCH PREFER TO HIDE/WHAT WOULD YOU SAY/ WHAT WOULD YOU LIE/WOULD YOU FINALLY TELL THE TRUTH/REGRET WHAT YOU SAY/REGRET WHAT YOU DON'T/THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU - Copyright MEEEEE

If I die tomorrow
As the minutes fade away
I can't remember
Have I said all I can say?
You're my everything
You make me feel so alive
(If I Die Tomorrow - Motley Crue)

Are You Taking Me To David?**

I sit here doing nothing, being as useless as the rest of my life. Felicia is watching some movie about a demonic looking teddy bear who belongs to a boy named David.

Daniel came to see me today for like an hour. It was nice. I love him.

I feel like I have so many things that need doing, and they never get done. Whenever I actually get the motivation I need, someone gets in the way.

**from the movie "artificial intelligence"

Random Quotes

"Sometimes its the littlest things we take for granted, just like a fish, cause no matter what, they will be there, and will never get pissed and walk out on a conversation" - Tammy

"Guys are always so rough. I like soft things...like girls!" - Felicia

"Ford, you're turning in to an infinant number of penguins." - from a book

At Least the Sun's Out

I forgot to study for my math test, and therefore am skipping AGAIN. I have to make up a history exam tomorow. Also have to write a term paper. I'm not sure if I want to stay here or not. School almost out. Then I can be home. Yay. That bad thing is that dammit! Just realized this! If David doesn't get out like in the next month, then I won't be here, and I still won't get to see him...Freakin' A! I get to visit him tomorow. Skipping MIS class. Missing that test too dammit!! Oh well..its a hassle but he's worth it. I wonder if he misses me...

NOOO!!!!

My poor fishie is dead...*big tears*

Akira Voldemort, Rest in Peace

You've no idea how tramatized I am by this...:(

Now That I'm More Awake...

I really need to start sleeping...its not good for me to go without sleep and food so much as I have been doing. I guess its the weather. Its so nice out, its got me feeling great. Plus Mal really encourages me. Good thing she called me this morning. I fell asleep on her bed when she went to class, and I woulda missed mine had she not called me. Its not good...I get dizzy all the time, and sick to my stomach. But our windows are clean! And chust...you think there aren't enough hours in the day to put off all the stuff you need to do, but even when you never sleep, you still run out of time to procrastinate!!! Well, teacher lady wants me to do work now. BYE

I'm Lovin' It

There's something about McDonald's coffee and a breakfast burrito at 7 am that makes you wonder why the hell you stayed up so late. At 5 this morning, Mal and I were washing her car windows. Then we went driving and ended up at McDonald's. Now it's much too late to sleep, and we have officailly pulled our second all nighter. This is insane. I WANT TO SLEEP!!!

Go Look At My Photos!!!!

Here is the direct link to my online photo album. If you've looked at it before, you'll have to skip to page 3 to see new pictures.

http://sakura-aeris.tripod.com/photos/index.album?i=0

Just To Clarify

I DID feel sorry for Shawnna. I did. She was hurting bad, and I really couldn't help it, but I tried. I tried listening, I tried explaining, I did everything a friend could do. What I didn't do was promise I would never talk to Tyler again. I think thats why she hates me. She couldn't understand why I was still his friend, and whether she knew it or not, a much closer one than she ever was. Rather than accept my nuetral position, she avenged me for it. She started saying that I was dating him, that it was my fault, that I knew everything he was doing and didn't tell her. MONTHS later, she still wouldn't let up on it. She wouldn't talk about anything but what a horrible person he was and how terrible I must be to stay friends with him. Weeks after that, she yells at me in public, while shes working. She had been worried about getting in trouble for me going through her checkout line when we were friends, but she can bitch me out while customers wait and listen? Whatever, bitch. Get over it, get over yourself, and FUCKING DIE!!!!

The Simple Pleasures in Life

I used to dread going in to the Watertown Wal-mart because Shawnna worked there. After our "final disagreement" as I shall call it, every time we saw each other, it was a very awkward moment, resulting in us both darting in opposite directions. I can't speak for her, but I know it ruined my day. Seeing her left me in a horrible, vengence-seeking mood. I would bitch to everyone that would listen about why I hated that bitch. But by now, I think I have ventilated enough to be satisfied, and while I would still delight watching her house burn the the ground, with all of her skating memorobilia and awards in it, I no longer allow her to ruin my mood. Instead, it has quite the opposite effect. I saw her yesterday and today in Wal-mart, and each time, I remembered that she is twice as sensitive as me, and twice as incapable to let things go. Therefore, seeing me will probably ruin her day twice as much. Let her remember that while she was in love with him, my best friend dumped her. The bitter old hag will never let that go. Let her remember that he gave ME the Tigger, and not her. She can just go on thinking that there was something between us. Also, let her remember that I am still with Daniel (he was with me yesterday when I saw her). I can't help but smile at the thought of her running back to the break room in tears, just because she saw me at work. (Although this didn't happen, I can pretend. Theroretically it could have)