Things I Have Learned From The Ones Who Love Me

I am irresponsible.
I am horrible with money.
I am boring.
I need to loosen up and have fun once an awhile.
I need to grow up because I still act like a 6 year old.
I will have to move to Omaha to teach because everyone in SD thinks I'm a child molester.
I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't do anything right at all.
I can't remember anything, ever.
I am controlling and want to run everyone else's lives, even though I can't control my own.
I am nothing but a lair whom no one can trust.
I am a backstabbing bitch.
I am a complete idiot who is totally ignorant about everything.
I don't care about anyone but myself.

Gee....I suck!!! Why am I even still alive? If I was really that horrid, I don't think I should be allowed to live and ruin the lives of all these PERFECT PEOPLE.

I don't know what to think here...I can see a bit of truth in most of those things, but all my shortcommings get blown waaay out of proportion. And my gosh...if this is what I get from my friends and family, what do my enemies think about me?? I'm scared to even ask! I just wanna cry my eyes out sometimes, because I KNOW I'm a failure. I know that I have changed, and I don't like it. I used to be so understanding, so considerate, I was nice to everyone no matter what, and always gave them a chance. I helped people when I could, and I was fair to everyone. But then I was told that I was a pushover. I was too nice. People used me. Alot. And I didn't like that. So I tried sticking up for myself. I got a backbone. I stopped letting people get away with walking all over me. But then I was called a bitch. People stopped liking me. They thought I was angery, or mad at them, or something. I lost friends. I don't like that, either. And now I don't know who I am. I set goals. I get told I will fail. I do fail. I can't ever get anything accomplished because I have it stuck in my mind that I am just going to fail anyway. And I'm too damn proud to ask for help. The people I am close to, the people that I would usually go to, they all think that I am some ignorant loser, and to me it seems like if I go to them for help, especailly if its for something that I shouldn't need help with, well that just confirms everything they thought. I am on the fucking verge of losing everything that ever meant anything to me, and I am just quitely spinning out of control. I'm on the losing path, and I have no clue how to set it right. Everything I have tried has failed.