Thoughts run through my head faster than lighting through the atmosphere. So fast that I don't know what they are. All I know is that they make my throat feel like its closing up. They make my eyes and nose fill up with moisture till they overflow and flood my face and the sleeve of my shirt which I use to cover my ugly face. No one looks good when they are bawling like there's no end. That's it. No more. Felicia will be home soon. Can't let her see me like this.No. Can't. My shoes, my coat...what pulls me to remember them I don't know. My keys, my phone...no..no one will call. I grab my notebook. The one that contains all my thoughts. Things I should really tear out and burn. Outside into the cold. Where to go...I haven't got a place. No niche where I can sit and think. Think and write. Write and release. Calm down. I sniffle and walk. Walk and shiver. Good thing I remembered my coat. And shoes. For some odd reason, I want to call Dias. For some reason, I think he would understand. Strange how you sometimes can find comfort only in strangers. I know so many who's lives are flinging poo at them left and right. Mine is handing me boxes of chocolates and fuzzy things, and I am still unhappy. Why? WHYWHYWHYWHY? I love my friends, I like my school, I LOVE my fiance. I love life. I can't think of one thing that brings me so much pain. So where does it come from? Not knowing scares me. Fear scares me. I freak out. When I freak out, nothing makes sense. It's all a blur and I'm lost. Please come find me. Please, take me home. Take me back to my house, my room, my bed, and bury me under alot of blankets and fuzzy animals. A cat would be nice. Play some Hal Ketchum and let me pretend I'm 7 years old. My gramma and Roo and Bug are with me, and my dad is telling me to clean my room. And I'm gonna listen this time...I have to go call my dad.