One of the cutest things in life is seeing your twenty-two year old brother-in-law (to be) dancing around like a stripper while singing, in a high pitched voice, "Tonight I'll be your naughty girl."
This occurrence actually took place some months back, however it will remain with me 'til the end of time.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Happiness Sponge
Here is a quote from Felicia, about Mallory.
"You're like, the happiness sponge. We all just squeeze you and get some happy juice." - Felicia
I will make no further comments.
"You're like, the happiness sponge. We all just squeeze you and get some happy juice." - Felicia
I will make no further comments.
This Is Getting So Monotonous
OK, so the last time that I got stopped by the cops, I vowed that I would never drive anywhere again. Then I said to myself "If I ever get stopped when I'm walking, I'm definitely gonna think that they are after me."
Guess what?
Me, Rose, ShaVonne, and Mallory were at Melgaurd Park late tonight. It's kind of "our place". So anyway, we look up and see the cops driving around on the other side of the park. We were like "Dude, they're spotlighting!" so then we decided it was definitely time to leave. We were almost to the road when they park and say, over the intercom, "Can you guys come over here please?" Rose is like "I didn't do it!" (thinking, of course, that they wouldn't hear her). They did. The guy's like "OK." so we go over there and are asked (several times) if we had been drinking. Apparently they park closes at 11:00pm. Oops. Our bad. We didn't know that. They wanted to see some kind of ID, and luckily, we all had our student ID cards with us! Then Mallory is doing most of the talking, and she's giggling and stuttering (which is probably why they had a hard time believing we were all sober). So then, driver was like "Do you know Ryan." Ryan just happens to be our (hot) RA. So anyway, they had to call the school and verify that we were students. Then they let us go, ordering us to "Go to the dorm, and tell Ryan hi for me." So we came back here, and I rushed to the computer to type this all up. Sorry this post isn't as well structured as most, but it's late, and I still can't find Ryan.
Guess what?
Me, Rose, ShaVonne, and Mallory were at Melgaurd Park late tonight. It's kind of "our place". So anyway, we look up and see the cops driving around on the other side of the park. We were like "Dude, they're spotlighting!" so then we decided it was definitely time to leave. We were almost to the road when they park and say, over the intercom, "Can you guys come over here please?" Rose is like "I didn't do it!" (thinking, of course, that they wouldn't hear her). They did. The guy's like "OK." so we go over there and are asked (several times) if we had been drinking. Apparently they park closes at 11:00pm. Oops. Our bad. We didn't know that. They wanted to see some kind of ID, and luckily, we all had our student ID cards with us! Then Mallory is doing most of the talking, and she's giggling and stuttering (which is probably why they had a hard time believing we were all sober). So then, driver was like "Do you know Ryan." Ryan just happens to be our (hot) RA. So anyway, they had to call the school and verify that we were students. Then they let us go, ordering us to "Go to the dorm, and tell Ryan hi for me." So we came back here, and I rushed to the computer to type this all up. Sorry this post isn't as well structured as most, but it's late, and I still can't find Ryan.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
My friend Mallory and I decided it would be uber cool to go out and buy some Nerf guns and run around campus playing commando. It turned out that she just wanted to stand there and shoot the rubber tipped foam darts and the door of our dorm. I wanted desperately to go out and ambush some poor unsuspecting stranger, when suddenly, Jay and some other Korean dude walked by. I ran up to them, hiding behind tiny trees, pretending like I didn't think they saw me. I got right up next to them (I never have been good at long range targeting) and attempted to shoot Jay. Nothing happened. I had forgotten to cock the gun. "Oops. Hold on a minute." I said, as I prepared my weapon for fire. "OK. There we go." And I shoot (and miss).
I didn't even get what was so funny until I thought about someone in war aiming and making themselves known to the enemy only to ask them to stand still while they get their gun ready to shoot them. Freakin moron!
A little later, Rose and I ran around and actually did try shooting rabbits (and each other). I saw Jay again and he seemed really interested in our toys. Me and him ran around for a bit shooting each other. I tell you what, I think he looks like Jackie Chan when he's just, you know, existing. But when he's jumping, running, and darting around, and telling you to surrender, it's like "holy crap, dude!" I felt like I was in Rush Hour or something. It was funny too, because when I shot him the first time, I was like "I shot Jackie Chan!!" Hehehe.
I didn't even get what was so funny until I thought about someone in war aiming and making themselves known to the enemy only to ask them to stand still while they get their gun ready to shoot them. Freakin moron!
A little later, Rose and I ran around and actually did try shooting rabbits (and each other). I saw Jay again and he seemed really interested in our toys. Me and him ran around for a bit shooting each other. I tell you what, I think he looks like Jackie Chan when he's just, you know, existing. But when he's jumping, running, and darting around, and telling you to surrender, it's like "holy crap, dude!" I felt like I was in Rush Hour or something. It was funny too, because when I shot him the first time, I was like "I shot Jackie Chan!!" Hehehe.
The Constiwhat?
Yesterday I was reading the online material for my American Gov't class. Now you must understand that my gov't class tends to consist of early morning coffee and heated debates about religion, abortion, gay marriage, and other exciting and controversial issues. You can imagine my surprise when the page loaded and I read the topic of the article and found it to be "The Constitution". I turned to Mallory and ask in an exasperated voice: "What the hell does The Constitution have to do with government?" The sad thing: I wasn't being sarcastic.
Sunday, September 26, 2004
What I Learned In School
Biology Survey: Long necked unicorns and short necked unicorns don't "fit together".
Biology Lab: You may develop worms if you lay your sandwich on a table with weasel poop.
English: A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Jewish men dance funny, even when they are sober, but more so when they are drunk.
The opposite of harmony is china in a trash can falling down the stairs at 3:00 am.
How to avoid a hangover
Gov't: It is possible for people with mental problems to circulate in the mainstream society, seemingly unnoticed.
Random Quotes From Various Professors:
"Let me show you another way to have sex" - Dr. Tallman (Bio Survey)
"You can have an intimate relationship with a horse. All you need is for the horse to stand still. You might need a stool." - Dr. Blanchard ( Gov't)
"Where there's an opening, one can pass through." - Dr. Blanchard ( Gov't)
"Massechussettes? Where the hell is that?" - Dr. Blanchard (Gov't)
Biology Lab: You may develop worms if you lay your sandwich on a table with weasel poop.
English: A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Jewish men dance funny, even when they are sober, but more so when they are drunk.
The opposite of harmony is china in a trash can falling down the stairs at 3:00 am.
How to avoid a hangover
Gov't: It is possible for people with mental problems to circulate in the mainstream society, seemingly unnoticed.
Random Quotes From Various Professors:
"Let me show you another way to have sex" - Dr. Tallman (Bio Survey)
"You can have an intimate relationship with a horse. All you need is for the horse to stand still. You might need a stool." - Dr. Blanchard ( Gov't)
"Where there's an opening, one can pass through." - Dr. Blanchard ( Gov't)
"Massechussettes? Where the hell is that?" - Dr. Blanchard (Gov't)
Anyone Want A Car?
Those of you who read my previous post know about my magnetic attraction to police cars. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more monotonous, I come outside to find my car has been ticketed by NSU staff. A double fine, one for parking at a slant, one for being (partway) in a no parking spot. See, the reason it was parked so carelessly was that I had loaded some things up to take home, and had never moved the car. Anyway, Kevin seemed pretty impressed by the fact that I have a car. I think that I should just give it to him. It costs me too much money!
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Cop Magnet
OK. So, it's 9:45 pm and I'm trying to get back to the dorms before it gets too late. After driving for 2 hours, I'm a little (lot) impatient. When I see Aberdeen right there, it was like, calling to me. You're almost home. You're almost home. It beckoned me. Increasing my speed, I came closer and closer to my destination. It felt so good, yet I was still so far away. The closer I got, the slower I seemed to be going. I looked down to see that I was traveling at a whopping 100 miles per hour. At night. In the dark. EEKKK!! How silly is it that in the day time, when I can see deer and cops, I tend to only allow myself to go 75 at the most, but at night, when a deer on a motorcycle could hit me and pull me over before I knew what happened, I am exceeding the posted speed limit by 35!!
"Freakin' A!!" I look in my rearveiw mirror, to see the scariest thing in my life. A cop in hot pursuit of....Me!! Unless you have experienced it, you do not know the feeling of seeing flashing lights in your mirror. Its like, taking a bite of an apple to see half a worm left while bouncing down a marble staircase on your head when you have a migriane. Not fun.
So, anyway, ten minutes later, when I got back in my car, I had now, in my possession, a ticket for Brown County, complete with my name, car, and descriptions of us both. There was a line at the bottom where I had signed, promising to appear in court. AHHHHHH!!!!! I called Daniel when I got to my room. Needless to say I wasn't about to whip out my phone while driving!
After a restless night, and a week in which I managed to forget about what happened, I made my way to the brown county courthouse. The dude who gave me directions was awesome. To get the full effect, imagine Crush from Finding Nemo narrating in the following dialogue:
"Freakin' A!!" I look in my rearveiw mirror, to see the scariest thing in my life. A cop in hot pursuit of....Me!! Unless you have experienced it, you do not know the feeling of seeing flashing lights in your mirror. Its like, taking a bite of an apple to see half a worm left while bouncing down a marble staircase on your head when you have a migriane. Not fun.
So, anyway, ten minutes later, when I got back in my car, I had now, in my possession, a ticket for Brown County, complete with my name, car, and descriptions of us both. There was a line at the bottom where I had signed, promising to appear in court. AHHHHHH!!!!! I called Daniel when I got to my room. Needless to say I wasn't about to whip out my phone while driving!
After a restless night, and a week in which I managed to forget about what happened, I made my way to the brown county courthouse. The dude who gave me directions was awesome. To get the full effect, imagine Crush from Finding Nemo narrating in the following dialogue:
Me: Do you know how to get to the courthouse?
Crush: Whoa!! Do I ever!! Which part do you need to go to?
Me: I have to go to court for some traffic thing.
Crush: Well then you need to go to the police station.
Me: Do you know where that is?
Crush: Oh yeah! I've been to them both lots of times. You go right down this highway for 5 blocks, ok. Then, you turn and go right for 2 blocks. Then you're gonna see the police station, or the "municipal building". You wanna go to the top floor to the magistrate court. Now you have two choices. You can use the stairs or the elevator.
Me: *smiling* OK. Thanks!
Crush: Good luck man!
So, I got where I was going, and after sitting for way to freaking long, was made to pay a fine of $119 dollars, by Oct 27th, and also to complete 5 hours of community service. Christina just cannot believe that me, of all people, had to go to court. Lots of our friends have been there, but they are like, pot smoking alcoholics with kleptomania. I'm just a good little girl, with good grades and a nice boyfriend. Pretty damned ironic, if you ask me. Anyway, so I calmed down, and its all over. No more worrying.
Except for the fact that I suffer from paranoia. Every time I saw a cop, or heard a siren, or anything like that, I would freak out. It was not cool. By last night though, I had started to calm down a little bit. So I was brave enough to venture out on the streets after dark again. On the way back from Walmart, where I insisted we go only to find I didn't have my checkbook, Felicia decides she wants to go to McDonald's, and so I pull in. a cop comes from the other direction and pulls in behind me. As jumpy as I was, I wasn't even the first one to notice. But then I was thinking "Wouldn't it be just my luck for her to pull me over?" So on goes the lights. The lights, nooooo....Not the lights again!!!!!!Good thing I had 4 good friends in the car or I would have had a complex. Turns out that she stopped me for only having my parking lights on instead of my headlights (I hadn't turned the knob far enough.) Not so bad. But freaking A! It's like they are after me!!!! I would start walking everywhere, but a couple of my friends got pulled over when they were walking! Damn college students!
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Dude, Where's My Car?
At 18 years, I regret to say that I am feeling the effects of aging that everyone is always talking about. Getting old is not an overnight phenomenon, however. I can remember years ago, I tried convincing my dad that I needed to take "one-A-Day" vitamins that were supposed to improve your memory. I think he said I could if I felt I needed it. I dunno. I forgot. But it's sounding pretty good right now. Things have gone from bad to worse. I feel I am getting dumber by the minute. Even my friends have noticed. First, it was the all too common "where's my purse?" "where's my keys?". It then progressed to "Dude, where's my car?", "What class am I going to?", "Where is it?", "What time does it start?", "What was I doing?", and "Why did I come here?" Not all that horrible, you say. What about sitting down at the table, laying my keys on the table, then, not 2 minutes later, looking all over hell for them. How about getting up from a nice comfy spot to go look for something that I suddenly needed, only to find it right next to where I had originally been perched (thus the reason I was reminded that I needed it). Or lending my phone to someone, only to see them using it a couple minutes later, and be reminded of the fact that "Hey, I have a phone too! Where the hell is it?"Or going to the post office with the letter I need to mail in my hand, only to arrive there, set it down on the dash of the car, enter the building, look around, and wonder "what was I gonna do?". And the thing is, I don't just have these memory lapses on occasion. Its several during a single hour. I'm sure it amuses my friends. Hell, it amuses me. For instance, yesterday at lunch, I glanced around the cafeteria, and, in doing so, saw this guy, Joseph. I turned to my friend Amy and commented on how often I see him. I then turned back to where he was and saw that the guy there was not him. I, with much difficulty, sputtered and babbled to cover my mistake. About ten minutes later, I realize that it had been Joseph after all. When I turned and saw the wrong guy, it was because I was looking at the wrong spot. How freaking retarded do you have to be for that? It doesn't sound that bad, actually. Even Amy probably doesn't realize how retarded I felt. Only I know. It was funny though. Very funny!
Seriously though, if I don't do something about this, I'm going to have a horrible time in the future. I will set down my son, forget where I put him, forget what I was doing, leave the house, forget where I live, and go to Joseph's house and let him cook me pizza. Do you see my point?
Seriously though, if I don't do something about this, I'm going to have a horrible time in the future. I will set down my son, forget where I put him, forget what I was doing, leave the house, forget where I live, and go to Joseph's house and let him cook me pizza. Do you see my point?
Monday, September 20, 2004
Maybe The Radio Waves Do Affect Brain Performance
On my cell phone, there is a line of display that can be personalized. Many people chose to put their name or nickname in this space. Mine currently says "Dardy's Phone". I was trying to think of something more original when it hit me. I will put my number (meaning the cell number, the only way to get ahold of me) on there so that if the phone ever gets lost, and they don't know who "Dardy" is, they can just call me.
I don't know who is dumber; me, or me.
I don't know who is dumber; me, or me.
Ed Edd N Eddie All Grown Up!!
This afternoon, my fiance and I were watching Ed Edd N Eddie when we (for whatever reason) started imagining what each character would most likely be like in 20 or so years (if cartoon characters aged, that is). Here is what we came up with.
Edd (Double D) - Double D will grow up to be an invented or sorts, making tons of money (in a legitimate fashion). However, he will remain single for the rest of his life, not having any idea how to have a relationship with a girl. In fact, this first time a girl touches him in a sexual manner, he will blurt out "Oh dear. I seem to have soiled my underpants!"
Ed - Lovable Ed will find his niche out in the woods, in a log cabin miles from civilization. His only companions will be 6 cats, 2 goats, a sheep, and several chickens.
Eddie - This mischievous munchkin will knock some chick up and be forced to work for a living in a jawbreaker factory, where he is repeatedly suspended for consuming the merchandise.
Jimmy - Sarah's best little buddy finally comes out of the closet at age 27. Come on. We all say it coming.
Kevin - Kev will work in a motorcycle repair shop while his wife, Nas, works as a supermodel.
Nas - Marries Kevin, and works at a top notch modeling agency.
Ralph - Ralphy boy will marry, and of course, educate his offsprings in the ways of the Old Country. Sadly, the kids will be sentence to a school career of ridicule.
Sarah - Miss Loudmouth will end up working as a live in maid/ childcare provider in a small norwegian village.
Edd (Double D) - Double D will grow up to be an invented or sorts, making tons of money (in a legitimate fashion). However, he will remain single for the rest of his life, not having any idea how to have a relationship with a girl. In fact, this first time a girl touches him in a sexual manner, he will blurt out "Oh dear. I seem to have soiled my underpants!"
Ed - Lovable Ed will find his niche out in the woods, in a log cabin miles from civilization. His only companions will be 6 cats, 2 goats, a sheep, and several chickens.
Eddie - This mischievous munchkin will knock some chick up and be forced to work for a living in a jawbreaker factory, where he is repeatedly suspended for consuming the merchandise.
Jimmy - Sarah's best little buddy finally comes out of the closet at age 27. Come on. We all say it coming.
Kevin - Kev will work in a motorcycle repair shop while his wife, Nas, works as a supermodel.
Nas - Marries Kevin, and works at a top notch modeling agency.
Ralph - Ralphy boy will marry, and of course, educate his offsprings in the ways of the Old Country. Sadly, the kids will be sentence to a school career of ridicule.
Sarah - Miss Loudmouth will end up working as a live in maid/ childcare provider in a small norwegian village.
LINKS
In case you missed it last time, here are a couple of other blogs you should check out!
http://www.drunkenmonkee.blogspot.com
http://www.smacksonsaturn.blogspot.com
http://www.drunkenmonkee.blogspot.com
http://www.smacksonsaturn.blogspot.com
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Jackie Chan
There is this guy at my school that looks much like a younger, thinner version of Jackie Chan. After a week or so of secretly refering to him as "Jackie", we (Felicia and I) finally went up to him and asked him if he was aware of the resemblance. He was well aware of it, as many people had told him so. He laughed about it and then told us that his name was Jay. (He is Korean, and Jay is the American name he goes by.) Before we talked to him, we had come up with a rather amussing antecdote. In order to fully understand the humor in this, you must imagine Jackie/Jay talking in his accent.
Imagine you are having sex with him. You feel the urge to cry out his name, but realize you do not know it. when you ask him, he replies with kuie dlapthhh (or an equally unpronouncable name).
You: Can I just call you Jackie?
Jackie/Jay: Who Jackie??
You: Jackie Chan
Jackie/Jay: Who Jackie Chan??
Imagine you are having sex with him. You feel the urge to cry out his name, but realize you do not know it. when you ask him, he replies with kuie dlapthhh (or an equally unpronouncable name).
You: Can I just call you Jackie?
Jackie/Jay: Who Jackie??
You: Jackie Chan
Jackie/Jay: Who Jackie Chan??
I'm So Glad That God Doesn't Have ADD.
Have you ever gotten like, this great idea? I mean, a super cool, awesome, uber off the wall plan. You made a list off all the supplies you would need. You begged, borrowed, and stealed to get it all together. Then you put your plan into action, only to get halfway through then become increasingly bored of it. You leave it there, half finished, until the urge strikes you to go back to it. What if God was like that. He was all hypered up about making this rock into a place suitable for living things which he would guide through this thing called existence. Then, he got distracted. He suddenly was reminded of the fact that he had piles of dirty laundry to do, friends who he had, over the years, lost touch with, and, Oh Me! I've left the stove on!! So he leaves us here to fend for ourselves until he gets bored and desperate enough to come back.
I pray that never happens. That would totally suck! So in conclusion, I say "Be crazy. Be loud. Be absolutely and completely wacked out. Be uber entertaining so that He doesn't ever get bored of us!"
I pray that never happens. That would totally suck! So in conclusion, I say "Be crazy. Be loud. Be absolutely and completely wacked out. Be uber entertaining so that He doesn't ever get bored of us!"
What If Life Were Just A Video Game?
I love to play The Sims. I love to make them get jobs, keep them, and raise enough money to make a super cool house so they can invite all their friends over until 2:00 am and then get up for work in the morning (since they have no weekend...). But I got too thinking..."Do my characters know they are in a video game? Do they honestly think that they are living freely, dependent on only their own freewill?'' How sad would it be to find out that we, too, are in existence for the mere purpose of entertaining some 32 year old who still lives with his parents and relies on our success because he cannot achieve his own?
If we are, in fact, living in a game console, does that mean our "money" is the "points", and we trade them in for "life elixer" (food and drink)? Where are the magic beans and the mushrooms that make you shrink? And why is it that we cannot jump 7 times our own height, or fall from the same distance and not get hurt? Perhaps if we hit the "Z" button just before landing, we could leap off of the world trade center and only lose one heart container of life. The big question, though, is how come, when things get too difficult for us and we don't know what to do next, we can't just "save" and go look up the cheats on the good old web?
If we are, in fact, living in a game console, does that mean our "money" is the "points", and we trade them in for "life elixer" (food and drink)? Where are the magic beans and the mushrooms that make you shrink? And why is it that we cannot jump 7 times our own height, or fall from the same distance and not get hurt? Perhaps if we hit the "Z" button just before landing, we could leap off of the world trade center and only lose one heart container of life. The big question, though, is how come, when things get too difficult for us and we don't know what to do next, we can't just "save" and go look up the cheats on the good old web?
New For Nintendo Gamecube **
Last night, while watching the movie "Fahrenheit 9-11", I got this crazy idea. A video game based on the events of September 11th! Just think of it. "Play as both sides in the war on terrorism through 7 levels of roleplaying entertainment as you relive the actual events."
Possible titles: "Terrorist 101" and "9-11; The Game''.
Objectives:
Level 1- Attempt to successfully bridge the gap between the CIA and the FBI in order to unveil the threat and prevent the attack.
Level 2 - Despite your efforts, an attack is underway. Switch sides and make it on the plane before it leaves the ground.
Level 3 - Successfully hijack the plane.
Level 4 - Locate the World Trade Center and guide the plane on a crash course. Jump out before you reach the building.
Level 5 - Switch back to America as you act as a firefighters, trying your best to put out the fire and save as many lives as you can.
Level 6 - Try to avoid being drafted
Level 7 - Fight to the death overseas, dropping bombs and shooting civilians. Bonus points for hitting the bad guys.
BONUS LEVEL - Search high and low for Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden.
**This game came out of my imagination and is not really avaliable anywhere.
Possible titles: "Terrorist 101" and "9-11; The Game''.
Objectives:
Level 1- Attempt to successfully bridge the gap between the CIA and the FBI in order to unveil the threat and prevent the attack.
Level 2 - Despite your efforts, an attack is underway. Switch sides and make it on the plane before it leaves the ground.
Level 3 - Successfully hijack the plane.
Level 4 - Locate the World Trade Center and guide the plane on a crash course. Jump out before you reach the building.
Level 5 - Switch back to America as you act as a firefighters, trying your best to put out the fire and save as many lives as you can.
Level 6 - Try to avoid being drafted
Level 7 - Fight to the death overseas, dropping bombs and shooting civilians. Bonus points for hitting the bad guys.
BONUS LEVEL - Search high and low for Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden.
**This game came out of my imagination and is not really avaliable anywhere.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Would You Like Fries With That?
While participating in a rather unusual discussion with my friend/ my friend's boss/ my kids mom, we learned some disturbing information. She, as well as her mother, have had sex in various places of their restaurant. Later on, we got to thinking, what if the following scenario were to actually take place...
Waitress: Hello sir. What can I get for you?
Customer: I'd like a hamburger and a chocolate shake.
Waitress: I'm sorry sir, but we are out of hamburger patties. There are more down back, but I can't go back there right now. My boss is having sex. Would you like something else instead?
Customer (quite surprised): No, I really wanted a hamburger.
Waitress: Well, OK. I'll see what I can do.
Waitress hesitantly goes to the back room in search of hamburger patties. In her quest, she finds her boss and a guy in the middle of something. Upon seeing the waitress, they instantly separate.
Waitress: Excuse me, but would you like some fries with that ass?
Blushing, the guy turns to her.
Waitress: Oh dear, you look like you need to be supersized!
Waitress: Hello sir. What can I get for you?
Customer: I'd like a hamburger and a chocolate shake.
Waitress: I'm sorry sir, but we are out of hamburger patties. There are more down back, but I can't go back there right now. My boss is having sex. Would you like something else instead?
Customer (quite surprised): No, I really wanted a hamburger.
Waitress: Well, OK. I'll see what I can do.
Waitress hesitantly goes to the back room in search of hamburger patties. In her quest, she finds her boss and a guy in the middle of something. Upon seeing the waitress, they instantly separate.
Waitress: Excuse me, but would you like some fries with that ass?
Blushing, the guy turns to her.
Waitress: Oh dear, you look like you need to be supersized!
Chicken VS Egg Question Answered!
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?? The world may never know. However, I don't see what makes it such a difficult question. You would think that of all the philosophers and priests out there, someone would have came up with the answer. But no. Leave it to me to be the voice of reason!
Obviously the chicken came first. If God created all creatures, one male and one female, why would he have created an egg, with no one to care for it?? People say "the chicken couldn't have come first because it would have needed an egg to hatch from" NO IT DIDN'T!!!!! DID ADAM AND EVE NEED A MOTHER TO BE BORN FROM????NO. SAME FOR THE CHICKEN. GOD MADE A MALE AND A FEMALE CHICKEN. ANYONE WANNA ARGUE WITH ME??
Obviously the chicken came first. If God created all creatures, one male and one female, why would he have created an egg, with no one to care for it?? People say "the chicken couldn't have come first because it would have needed an egg to hatch from" NO IT DIDN'T!!!!! DID ADAM AND EVE NEED A MOTHER TO BE BORN FROM????NO. SAME FOR THE CHICKEN. GOD MADE A MALE AND A FEMALE CHICKEN. ANYONE WANNA ARGUE WITH ME??
My Buddy
My best bud here (whom I'm sure I'll be mentioning a lot) is an extroverted geek named Felicia (Connie, Felicity, Paula, Jessica, or whatever the fuck else I call her...). Rather than talk about her on here (seeing as to how I don't know her that well yet), I will direct you to her site.
www.alwayshappy.net
so, check it out!
www.alwayshappy.net
so, check it out!
Friday, September 10, 2004
Blah
My tummy hurts so freakin bad right now. I think it's half gas and half Kevin. The gas is self explanatory- we've all been there. But Kevin, I'd like not to explain too much. But basically, he's this really attractive Korean guy that goes to my school, and I was all school-girl giggly over him a couple times and my friend now has me convinced that he (Kevin) thinks I'm a psychotic stalker and that he will avoid at all costs. I tried to console myself by telling me that he has never saw me be all giggly, and furthermore has only seen me like 3 times, and so I highly doubt he thinks anything of the sort. He probably has no idea that I think about him in that way. I am sure he has forgotten my name already, and assumes I've done the same. (forgotten my name...?)
However, as I explained to my friend only an hour or two ago, my confidence is uber fragile and I am easily put into the state of mind that I am inferior, pointless, and basically just taking up space. And so I sit, vowing to never mention his name again, and to never allow my eyes to gaze upon his handsome face, just to prove to him (and my friend) that I am not obsessed. I honestly want to cry right now, but it's like, have you ever felt like you had no purpose, nothing you did mattered, and you wanted to cry, but then thought what's the point. Even my tears have no purpose. They aren't going to change anything, except make everyone know how insecure I am.
Well, I'm down in the computer room right now. I got up and left when my friends weren't looking, and they are probably wondering where I went (actually, they probably just took my purse and left) but anyway, the second Lord Of The Rings movie will be starting soon, so I'm gonna head back upstairs.
However, as I explained to my friend only an hour or two ago, my confidence is uber fragile and I am easily put into the state of mind that I am inferior, pointless, and basically just taking up space. And so I sit, vowing to never mention his name again, and to never allow my eyes to gaze upon his handsome face, just to prove to him (and my friend) that I am not obsessed. I honestly want to cry right now, but it's like, have you ever felt like you had no purpose, nothing you did mattered, and you wanted to cry, but then thought what's the point. Even my tears have no purpose. They aren't going to change anything, except make everyone know how insecure I am.
Well, I'm down in the computer room right now. I got up and left when my friends weren't looking, and they are probably wondering where I went (actually, they probably just took my purse and left) but anyway, the second Lord Of The Rings movie will be starting soon, so I'm gonna head back upstairs.
Monday, September 06, 2004
Why Shawnna is a BITCH
You may recall previous blogs in which I mentioned a girl whom I referred to as "Itzall Aboutme". I will now give her a name. It is Shawnna Marie Singrey, aka "Bitter Drama Queen in Desperate Need of a Reality Check". here is a list summarizing her personality defects:
1) the whole world is expected to revolve around her
2) she is a HUGE hypocrite
3) she finds the idea that she possesses a fault to be unthinkable
4) she is a bigger drama queen than me
5) the ability to let go of the past is beyond her reach
6) she is mentally incapable of coming to the realization that shit happens
Here's the story of how I lost one of my best friend:
Somewhere in the middle of my senior year, my friend Tyler told me that he and Shawnna had broken up. He needed some time to think. OK, no problem. I totally understood where he was coming from. I had recently came to the same decision in my current relationship. Well it was about that time that Shawnna, who was also a good friend of mine, stopped calling me/ returning my calls. I could feel us drifting apart, while at the same time I grew closer and closer to Tyler. At school we were inseparable. After awhile, Tyler began seeing another girl. I, thinking of Shawnna's delicate feelings, did not think it appropriate to mention this new girlfriend, thinking that was probably the last thing she would want to hear about, and so on the rare occasions that I spoke with her, I said nothing about it. Well, Tyler moved on to yet another girlfriend (whom he is still with and couldn't be happier), and Shawnna started tocompletely avoid me all together. She was downright rude to me whenever we happened to see each other. I didn't know what was going on, but decided that if she couldn't even come talk to me about whatever her problem with me was, I wasn't going to dwell on it. After all, I had other, better friends. Friends who told me when something was up, called me just to talk, and didn't treat me like a roach infestation.
Well, after a few months of this nonsense, I got uber curious and called her up, vowing to act as though nothing were wrong. After a minute or two of awkward small talk, she began her 1 1/2 hour long bitch session about how horrible of a person Tyler was for "cheating" on her and what a horrible friend I was for "not telling" her. First of all, he told me they were broken up. If that was a lie, how was I to know? If she had been talking to me back then, perhaps I would have caught on to the fact that as far as she knew, they were still together. Also, if she had been talking to me, something about his new girl may have slipped from my lips and she would have thought "hold up, what new girl? We are still together.'' But no. Try as I did, she had all but given up all contact with me. That was her bad, not mine. Anyway, she ripped me a new one for "aiding in the conspiracy" and would not believe me when I tried telling her my side of the story. She was so sure that she was right. I guess when you do nothing but over-analyze something for months on end, you can convince yourself of anything, and as stubborn as she is, she isn't going to change her way of thinking by any means short of mind control. The killer is that she even tried to accuse ME of being another of the girls he "cheated" with! I guess that was aided by the previously mentioned fact that we hung out a lot, however, there was nothing going on between us. But evidently she had little spies at school watching him like a hawk, and however bias their reports were, their word was treated like that of God.
her spies also had their opinions of his new girlfriend, who I happen to think as an awesome person. They called her a trashy slut who "puts out to all the boys" and "dresses like a skank". This girl is anything but trashy, and despises those who are. To my knowledge, at the time of these statements she was a full blooded virgin, and her attire was more tomboyish than skanky. Sadly, the spies were of the sort who find anyone not of their strict religion to be the spawns of Satan, and thus did not portray her in a very flattering light. She is not a "rebel' or an "outcast". She merely dances to the beat of her own drum, which basically means that she does not dress in the most expensive fashions or participate in every offered sport in an effort to gain popularity. I see this avoidance of falling into the cookie-cutter, stereotypical high school girl mold as an excellent quality. Other see it as a sin as horrid as rap music and television.
now the fact that I am *gasp* friends with this girl, and still *gasp, sputter* friends with Tyler was reason enough for Shawnna to deem me a horrible person. When we got off the phone that night, I thought that, perhaps, things would blow over and we could possibly be friends again, though I doubted we would ever be as close as the year before. However, when she still did not call me, or make any effort whatsoever to be hospitable, I said fuck it. She is going to die a bitter old hag with no friends, and I frankly don't give a crap. So today when I was going through the checkout at Wal-Mart, I see that she is the cashier. I do not speak one word to her outside of "is today the 6th?" and she says nothing but the normal "did you find everything you needed today?" and "your total is $4.16." I am about to walk out to my car when she says to me
"You know, I've been thinking, and your story just doesn't jive. I'm pretty sure you knew about everything since December'.
I look at her and go "I told you the truth, but if you don't want to believe me, that's your problem, and I really don't care if you don't talk to me anymore."
"OK. I just thought I should tell you that."
"Fine with me. I have other friends who realize that the world doesn't revolve around them, shit happens, and that you can't blame your problems on everyone else"
"Me too."
"Good. I hope everything works out for you. Have a nice day." I say with a smile and walk off
As I exited the building, I strongly wished that a) I knew which car was hers and b) there were no security cameras in the parking lot.
1) the whole world is expected to revolve around her
2) she is a HUGE hypocrite
3) she finds the idea that she possesses a fault to be unthinkable
4) she is a bigger drama queen than me
5) the ability to let go of the past is beyond her reach
6) she is mentally incapable of coming to the realization that shit happens
Here's the story of how I lost one of my best friend:
Somewhere in the middle of my senior year, my friend Tyler told me that he and Shawnna had broken up. He needed some time to think. OK, no problem. I totally understood where he was coming from. I had recently came to the same decision in my current relationship. Well it was about that time that Shawnna, who was also a good friend of mine, stopped calling me/ returning my calls. I could feel us drifting apart, while at the same time I grew closer and closer to Tyler. At school we were inseparable. After awhile, Tyler began seeing another girl. I, thinking of Shawnna's delicate feelings, did not think it appropriate to mention this new girlfriend, thinking that was probably the last thing she would want to hear about, and so on the rare occasions that I spoke with her, I said nothing about it. Well, Tyler moved on to yet another girlfriend (whom he is still with and couldn't be happier), and Shawnna started tocompletely avoid me all together. She was downright rude to me whenever we happened to see each other. I didn't know what was going on, but decided that if she couldn't even come talk to me about whatever her problem with me was, I wasn't going to dwell on it. After all, I had other, better friends. Friends who told me when something was up, called me just to talk, and didn't treat me like a roach infestation.
Well, after a few months of this nonsense, I got uber curious and called her up, vowing to act as though nothing were wrong. After a minute or two of awkward small talk, she began her 1 1/2 hour long bitch session about how horrible of a person Tyler was for "cheating" on her and what a horrible friend I was for "not telling" her. First of all, he told me they were broken up. If that was a lie, how was I to know? If she had been talking to me back then, perhaps I would have caught on to the fact that as far as she knew, they were still together. Also, if she had been talking to me, something about his new girl may have slipped from my lips and she would have thought "hold up, what new girl? We are still together.'' But no. Try as I did, she had all but given up all contact with me. That was her bad, not mine. Anyway, she ripped me a new one for "aiding in the conspiracy" and would not believe me when I tried telling her my side of the story. She was so sure that she was right. I guess when you do nothing but over-analyze something for months on end, you can convince yourself of anything, and as stubborn as she is, she isn't going to change her way of thinking by any means short of mind control. The killer is that she even tried to accuse ME of being another of the girls he "cheated" with! I guess that was aided by the previously mentioned fact that we hung out a lot, however, there was nothing going on between us. But evidently she had little spies at school watching him like a hawk, and however bias their reports were, their word was treated like that of God.
her spies also had their opinions of his new girlfriend, who I happen to think as an awesome person. They called her a trashy slut who "puts out to all the boys" and "dresses like a skank". This girl is anything but trashy, and despises those who are. To my knowledge, at the time of these statements she was a full blooded virgin, and her attire was more tomboyish than skanky. Sadly, the spies were of the sort who find anyone not of their strict religion to be the spawns of Satan, and thus did not portray her in a very flattering light. She is not a "rebel' or an "outcast". She merely dances to the beat of her own drum, which basically means that she does not dress in the most expensive fashions or participate in every offered sport in an effort to gain popularity. I see this avoidance of falling into the cookie-cutter, stereotypical high school girl mold as an excellent quality. Other see it as a sin as horrid as rap music and television.
now the fact that I am *gasp* friends with this girl, and still *gasp, sputter* friends with Tyler was reason enough for Shawnna to deem me a horrible person. When we got off the phone that night, I thought that, perhaps, things would blow over and we could possibly be friends again, though I doubted we would ever be as close as the year before. However, when she still did not call me, or make any effort whatsoever to be hospitable, I said fuck it. She is going to die a bitter old hag with no friends, and I frankly don't give a crap. So today when I was going through the checkout at Wal-Mart, I see that she is the cashier. I do not speak one word to her outside of "is today the 6th?" and she says nothing but the normal "did you find everything you needed today?" and "your total is $4.16." I am about to walk out to my car when she says to me
"You know, I've been thinking, and your story just doesn't jive. I'm pretty sure you knew about everything since December'.
I look at her and go "I told you the truth, but if you don't want to believe me, that's your problem, and I really don't care if you don't talk to me anymore."
"OK. I just thought I should tell you that."
"Fine with me. I have other friends who realize that the world doesn't revolve around them, shit happens, and that you can't blame your problems on everyone else"
"Me too."
"Good. I hope everything works out for you. Have a nice day." I say with a smile and walk off
As I exited the building, I strongly wished that a) I knew which car was hers and b) there were no security cameras in the parking lot.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Where Have All My Homies Gone?
Last year, it seemed as though going to college meant leaving the large group of "siblings", friends, and acquaintances I had acquired since 6th grade. I tried to talk to everyone I could, as much as I could, before graduation. I knew that, as usual, I wouldn't see many of them during the summer, and that this time, I would not have the sense of security in knowing that we would be reunited in the fall. Instead, in the search for belonging in college, I would have to cling to the few I knew, whether I had ever talked to them in high school or not. It was a very scary thought!
Sadly, my goal of spending precious last minutes on the phone, staying up late, watching movies, and just being dumb with my friends was a battle I was trying to win alone. It seemed that no one really cared that I would be leaving them in the fall. Not even Tyler, or Christina, who were supposed to be my best friends. I know that Tyler has a girlfriend, and that he was trying very hard to spend a lot of time with her, as I was with Daniel. But when she went to Nevada for I don't even know how many weeks, it wasn't until she was on her way back that I even knew she was gone. If nothing else, I thought that maybe in a desperate search for company in the absence of his other half, he may have stooped so low as to call his BEST FRIEND to say "hey, what's up." at very least. But alas! No such luck for me. (I'm sorry Tyler, if you're offended by this sudden outburst. I still love you, but it did hurt my feelings). And Christina. Well, I know she was planning to come with me, and so I didn't let it bother me when she preferred to hang out with everyone else over me and rarely wanted to come to my house. After all, we were going to be spending the next NINE MONTHS together. I totally understood that she would see plenty of me and little of anyone else. The only reason this bothers me now is because I wonder if she actually did plan to spend nine months here with me. After all, she told her boss that she was going to a different school weeks before she told me that she was having second thoughts about our original plans. hmmm
Anyway, as it has been, the only people who call me are Katie (she's been addicted to calling me since middle school) and Stuart. When I call others, they talk and stuff, but its just not the same. Even Christina, who looked positively crushed when I left, handed the phone over to someone else after not even 5 minutes. I know that this is what happens when you move, but that doesn't mean I like it. Just because friends drift away doesn't mean that I can't try to hang on a little longer. It just seems that many of them favor going alone with the tide.
Sadly, my goal of spending precious last minutes on the phone, staying up late, watching movies, and just being dumb with my friends was a battle I was trying to win alone. It seemed that no one really cared that I would be leaving them in the fall. Not even Tyler, or Christina, who were supposed to be my best friends. I know that Tyler has a girlfriend, and that he was trying very hard to spend a lot of time with her, as I was with Daniel. But when she went to Nevada for I don't even know how many weeks, it wasn't until she was on her way back that I even knew she was gone. If nothing else, I thought that maybe in a desperate search for company in the absence of his other half, he may have stooped so low as to call his BEST FRIEND to say "hey, what's up." at very least. But alas! No such luck for me. (I'm sorry Tyler, if you're offended by this sudden outburst. I still love you, but it did hurt my feelings). And Christina. Well, I know she was planning to come with me, and so I didn't let it bother me when she preferred to hang out with everyone else over me and rarely wanted to come to my house. After all, we were going to be spending the next NINE MONTHS together. I totally understood that she would see plenty of me and little of anyone else. The only reason this bothers me now is because I wonder if she actually did plan to spend nine months here with me. After all, she told her boss that she was going to a different school weeks before she told me that she was having second thoughts about our original plans. hmmm
Anyway, as it has been, the only people who call me are Katie (she's been addicted to calling me since middle school) and Stuart. When I call others, they talk and stuff, but its just not the same. Even Christina, who looked positively crushed when I left, handed the phone over to someone else after not even 5 minutes. I know that this is what happens when you move, but that doesn't mean I like it. Just because friends drift away doesn't mean that I can't try to hang on a little longer. It just seems that many of them favor going alone with the tide.
Wedding Bells Are Ringing
OK, so not yet. But, on Saturday, August 28th, Daniel popped to question!! You have no freaking idea how happy I am!!!! Here's how it happened:
We had got done moving the stuff into my dorm, and we went to the mall in Aberdeen. Sometimes he will ask me to go look in a jewelry store and point out some rings I like, because when he gets one, he wants it to be one I will like, and he has no idea what I like. SO anyway, we looked, and I fell in love with this diamond solitaire. Well the lady asked if I wanted to see it out of the case, and I said no, and we left. A while later, when we passed to store again, he asked if I was sure that I didn't wanna look at it closer. I said that doing that would just make me want it. He looked at me all serious and said "what makes you think I wont buy it for you" I just kinda acted like I didn't get what he meant, and wandered into a different store. He brought me back into the jewelry store, and told me to ask the lady to let me see it. She started showing us all kinds of rings, ones with matching wedding bands, ones without, yellow gold, silver gold, 1/4 caret, 1/8 caret, grade f, grade e, all this stuff. And I was like WHOA BUDDY. In the end, I still preferred the one I had my eye on from the beginning, but it was like $625, so I thought that there was no way I was getting it, at least not any time soon. After all, Daniel had already told me that he would not ask me until he knew how being 2 hours apart was going to affect our relationship. But, he did buy it. He wouldn't let me wear it yet, though, or even hold it. He said that he was not going to give it to me yet. I was glad I had not allowed myself to get my hopes up. But that night, as we were going to bed, he looked in my eyes and said "I have always wanted to show you how much I love you, but I didn't know how, but now I do. Darci, will you marry me?" I told myself I wasn't gonna cry, but I did.
It's so odd, I was so worked up about going to college that I would practically throw up, and suddenly, it was OK. Scary, new, but OK. Because I knew that Daniel would be there for me when I came back.
We had got done moving the stuff into my dorm, and we went to the mall in Aberdeen. Sometimes he will ask me to go look in a jewelry store and point out some rings I like, because when he gets one, he wants it to be one I will like, and he has no idea what I like. SO anyway, we looked, and I fell in love with this diamond solitaire. Well the lady asked if I wanted to see it out of the case, and I said no, and we left. A while later, when we passed to store again, he asked if I was sure that I didn't wanna look at it closer. I said that doing that would just make me want it. He looked at me all serious and said "what makes you think I wont buy it for you" I just kinda acted like I didn't get what he meant, and wandered into a different store. He brought me back into the jewelry store, and told me to ask the lady to let me see it. She started showing us all kinds of rings, ones with matching wedding bands, ones without, yellow gold, silver gold, 1/4 caret, 1/8 caret, grade f, grade e, all this stuff. And I was like WHOA BUDDY. In the end, I still preferred the one I had my eye on from the beginning, but it was like $625, so I thought that there was no way I was getting it, at least not any time soon. After all, Daniel had already told me that he would not ask me until he knew how being 2 hours apart was going to affect our relationship. But, he did buy it. He wouldn't let me wear it yet, though, or even hold it. He said that he was not going to give it to me yet. I was glad I had not allowed myself to get my hopes up. But that night, as we were going to bed, he looked in my eyes and said "I have always wanted to show you how much I love you, but I didn't know how, but now I do. Darci, will you marry me?" I told myself I wasn't gonna cry, but I did.
It's so odd, I was so worked up about going to college that I would practically throw up, and suddenly, it was OK. Scary, new, but OK. Because I knew that Daniel would be there for me when I came back.
Did Ya Miss Me??
Here it is, the first of September, and I am finally able to access the internet again. I don't have a computer in my room yet, as it needs to be fixed (still). I also do not have a roommate in my room. Christina, you see, decided that she was not coming. I will leave it at that. Had I been able to get on here when I first found out about her change in plans, I would have surely had my signature ranting post, but I have a had three weeks to cool down, and I think I am good.
Today is the second day of classes. I missed 90% of one because I sat through the wrong bio class for 40 minutes before she finally took role and I realized I didn't belong there. It was OK, though, because from the 5 minutes I spent in the right one, I decided that I like the one I am in much much better. When I walked in to the HUGE freakin room, the teacher was talking about aliens, and then went on to tell us that we made a stupid ass deal with mother nature, trading immortality for sex. "Those of us who don't have sex are therefore immortal." My bad...
So that is why I like that class. The reason I didn't like the other one (besides the fact that you practically have to sit on each other's laps) is because of a guy named Cole. He looked nice, so I was happy when he sat by me. I'm not lookin for a fuck buddy or anything, I just meant that opposed to a midget with greasy ringlets, he seemed a damn nice neighbor. Anyway, he began talking to the pretty girls by us, and blew me off when I tried talking with them. He then proceeded to attempt to impress Barbie and Barbie 2 by telling them about his football career and shit like that. I hate snobby guys. They are almost worse then snotty girls. You expect good looking girls to be snobby.
Speaking of good looking girls (no, I'm not harboring any same-sex tendencies), I made a friend on Monday. Her name is Melissa. Her daughter, Lexy, is so cute!!! Anyway, Melissa and her mom are both students here (her mom's a freshie, like me!) and anyway I hit it off great with both of them. I got to go around campus with them, around town, and back to their house, where I met "not Melissa's boyfriend", John. Anyway, it was a good time.
Last night, I got invited to a volleyball game by one of the RA's on my floor, but ended up ditching them (like they cared) and going off with a couple other girls. I am so happy that I am actually making friends! And it's only the third day!
Anyway, that's what's been happening since I got here (as if anyone actually gives a shit, Stuart and Katie are the only people who call me). I have one more piece of EXCITING news, but I will save that for another post (which I'm sure you've read already because the newest posts are at the top, and most people start reading from the top).
Today is the second day of classes. I missed 90% of one because I sat through the wrong bio class for 40 minutes before she finally took role and I realized I didn't belong there. It was OK, though, because from the 5 minutes I spent in the right one, I decided that I like the one I am in much much better. When I walked in to the HUGE freakin room, the teacher was talking about aliens, and then went on to tell us that we made a stupid ass deal with mother nature, trading immortality for sex. "Those of us who don't have sex are therefore immortal." My bad...
So that is why I like that class. The reason I didn't like the other one (besides the fact that you practically have to sit on each other's laps) is because of a guy named Cole. He looked nice, so I was happy when he sat by me. I'm not lookin for a fuck buddy or anything, I just meant that opposed to a midget with greasy ringlets, he seemed a damn nice neighbor. Anyway, he began talking to the pretty girls by us, and blew me off when I tried talking with them. He then proceeded to attempt to impress Barbie and Barbie 2 by telling them about his football career and shit like that. I hate snobby guys. They are almost worse then snotty girls. You expect good looking girls to be snobby.
Speaking of good looking girls (no, I'm not harboring any same-sex tendencies), I made a friend on Monday. Her name is Melissa. Her daughter, Lexy, is so cute!!! Anyway, Melissa and her mom are both students here (her mom's a freshie, like me!) and anyway I hit it off great with both of them. I got to go around campus with them, around town, and back to their house, where I met "not Melissa's boyfriend", John. Anyway, it was a good time.
Last night, I got invited to a volleyball game by one of the RA's on my floor, but ended up ditching them (like they cared) and going off with a couple other girls. I am so happy that I am actually making friends! And it's only the third day!
Anyway, that's what's been happening since I got here (as if anyone actually gives a shit, Stuart and Katie are the only people who call me). I have one more piece of EXCITING news, but I will save that for another post (which I'm sure you've read already because the newest posts are at the top, and most people start reading from the top).
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