Take Me And Let Me In; Don't Break Me And Shut Me Out

One of those nights...i dunno if im manically depressed or if i just depend on others for my energy. The last week or so, I have been off the hook...very happy, bubbly, all that. And after a great day at work, i came home and got to see my Nonny. I was so happy then, too. But now, as i sit alone in my room i feel empty. could this be what daniel means? could this be what he goes through each moment that im not there? my mind is normally busy with something, whether its homework, class, work, or the desperate hopes of avoiding any of those things. and im always surrounded by people, even if its just Crystal. Even if we arent even talking to each other, i think that just having someone else around gives me a feeling of usefulness and purpose and that makes me happy as well as occupies my mind. But when im alone like this, especailly at night, and especailly after talking to daniel, i just feel so bummed. I just wanna be in the arms of someone who loves me...and i cant be with him until i go home again. i just wanna cry, but for what? am i lonely? how unstable am i if i cant go two hours without some sort of companionship? i mean, is it really necessary for me to have that constant of a reminder that i am loved? im so pathetic...

HOLY SHYT!!!

Today, Crystal, Ian, and I were going through the drive-in at McDonald's when we saw, no joke, at least 10 cops drive by in a little line with their lights flashing. DAMN! So we followed them. As we were doing so, we kept thinking "wouldn't that be great if the entire Aberdeen police department just got really bored, so they decided to go have a little parade and see how many people followed them?" They ended up all stopping in the area of some funeral home on main street. It was near The Last Chance bar, but that isn't where they went, just to clear that up. Anyway, they dissipated after like 10 minutes, and I dont know what was going on, but Im sure glad I got to see it!

Googlisms

If you go to Googlism.com, you can find out what the Internet thinks about you, your friends, your school, the year you were born, your pencil...almost anything!!! Here's what the Internet had to say about me:
darci is one of the best singers i have ever heard

darci is full of good advise if only someone would take it

darci is very good at what she does

darci is really a mouse living in a toaster (editor's note: WHAT???)

And here's what it thought about my friends!

crystal knight is a hottie that entertains men and women regularly as one of the hostesses of playboy's night calls 411

daniel is the dalai lama

ian is just a happy little guy sitting in his scooter thing

ian is the muthafuckin' man!

stacy is a 16 year old heroin addict

tyler is "selling rich women their own fat asses back to them"

You really just have to go check this site out.

Errr...Turkey?

So we are driving in the Econo parking lot when suddenly, Crystal brings the car to a near halt. "Is that a turkey??" she asks. I look out the window. All I see is a McDonald's bag full of garbage. I say nothing. "Pick it up!!!" she demands. Errr...

Thank You Ian!!!

For my birthday/Christmas, Ian gave me a plastic llama and some sticky notes. I love this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian bought these cigarette things that smell dizzy and, according to Ian, taste numb. The also crackle when you smoke them. When you smoke them, your lungs start to bleed. It stops after you're done, though, which is good, I suppose.

The Evils Of Snow Covered Ice

I got out of my car today. I promptly fell down. I got up, my dignity bruised, and brushed off the snow. Then I fell again. Again, I brushed myself off, hoping that no one saw. I then took a single step and fell on my ass AGAIN!!!! I seriously considered crawling to class...

I Finally Got To See Michael Again, After Almost A Year

After this shot was taken, he wiped the water/saliva from his mouth away with his hand, and then he wiped his hand on the giant "Odie" dog next to him...

Here's a good shot of his face. Katie looks stoned...lol...

Chewing on the bear I got him for Christmas. Katie would like me to point out that she is not chewing on him, no matter how it looks!

Gothic Harry Potter

DAMN!! This picture is sweet!! And I never use that word anymore.

As Promised, Here's The Kittens!!

Buddy (Daniel's mom's cat)

Trixie (Me and Daniel's kitten)

Yes. This Is A Cow Made Of Cheese.

I Dont Even Remember What My Tatoo Looks Like

I have a tattoo on my right shoulder blade. I think it's of a blue cresent moon and two stars. I think. I don't remember. I never see it!! I'm gonna get another one this summer, I think. I know what of, and I know where, but you all will just have to wait until I get it to know!

Why I Need To Think Before I Speak

Backstory: Daniel has one of those vibrating, U-shaped neck and shoulder massager pillow things. This is what I was reffering to in the following dialogue. I just couldn't think of the word "massager".

After hours of trying to pull up 40 year-old, deteriorating, sticky, gross, disgusting carpet, I say to Daniel..."I'm going to have to use that vibrator when we get hoime. I'm getting really tense."

Daniel Is So Funny In Bed...

Dan: That hamburger didn't set with me very well.
Darci: So in other words, you have a stomach ache?
Dan: Ya. Or something like that. It's not digesting right. It's just kinda sitting there on the bottom of my stomach and it's trying to break up but it isn't going very well at all.

Web Junk

There is this new show on VH1 called Web Junk 20. Each week it counts down the funniest, dumbest, most ridiculous things that they found on the web that week. I must tell Ian about this.

What Kind of Idiot Runs Into A Building?

Bumper parking - this is when u slowly ease your vehicle up to the bumper so that you are parked right next to it. When doing this, it is possible to hit a pole if there is one near the edge of the sidewalk. However, you are moving so slowly that no damage is done and it isn't a big deal at all.

But if you are whipping cookies on an icy parking lot and you pop up over the curb, smack the building, and cause a huge crack to form from the floor to the ceiling...that's a different story. Especailly when you're a cocky kid named Tim Pennings. HAHAHA

Payng My Respect To Some Fantastic Felines

R.I.P

~~~~~~~~

Tigger "Dunk" Burch

Whose death came very unexpectedly

Dunk was such a lover

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frisky "Freakers" Burch

Who gave 17 years of love to a sweet little boy

SO MANY KITTENS!!!!! (what you talkin' 'bout?)

After Daniel's 18 year old (!!!!) cat was put to sleep, we went out and adopted another kitten. (photo comming later this month). This one is all black and really fluffy. It's also full of the devil! VERY playful, loving...loves to be held...gets into EVERYTHING. That is to say, even moreso than Buddy. Crazy little fucker. LOL. I love it. Dan still needs to come up with a name for it. I have my own idea, but I'll wait 'til he picks a name and just tell you that one so as not to confuse anyone.

Check it

You know why I hate Beyounce's music videos? Because she humps chairs, the floor, everything in sight. That's not sexy. Its creepy. You know why I hate alot of male (and female) artist's music videos? Because the choreographers have the girls dancing so fast and stupid that they look like they are convulsing. I have gotten used to the whole "we need skinny girls in their underpants shaking their asses to sell" thing. But they aren't even sexy anymore. They are like on speed or something...frankly, I'm a little scared.

Check it out, yo. I wrote this new rap song:

I'm out in da club
Got my bling around my neck
It's louder than the music
but don't you disrespec'
Got all these bitches
that I wanna take home
do nasty things to
all night long
I flash out my cha ching
light up my bling bling
da da da da.........

So ya...ever notice that most rap songs are about fine bitch, heaps of cash, dancing, and/or sex? *rolls eyes*
(I know people are gonna lell at me, so let me say this...I have enjoyed/ do enjoy some of these songs. Its the complete overabundance of them that annoys me)(Also, I realise that not all rap songs follow these pathetic trends. Amen to the rappers out there who have something else to say!!!!!)

Long live bands like Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, Seether, Linkin' Park, and a ton of others who have an actual message in their songs....who's songs you can actually relate to.

Things I Have Learned From The Ones Who Love Me

I am irresponsible.
I am horrible with money.
I am boring.
I need to loosen up and have fun once an awhile.
I need to grow up because I still act like a 6 year old.
I will have to move to Omaha to teach because everyone in SD thinks I'm a child molester.
I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't do anything right at all.
I can't remember anything, ever.
I am controlling and want to run everyone else's lives, even though I can't control my own.
I am nothing but a lair whom no one can trust.
I am a backstabbing bitch.
I am a complete idiot who is totally ignorant about everything.
I don't care about anyone but myself.

Gee....I suck!!! Why am I even still alive? If I was really that horrid, I don't think I should be allowed to live and ruin the lives of all these PERFECT PEOPLE.

I don't know what to think here...I can see a bit of truth in most of those things, but all my shortcommings get blown waaay out of proportion. And my gosh...if this is what I get from my friends and family, what do my enemies think about me?? I'm scared to even ask! I just wanna cry my eyes out sometimes, because I KNOW I'm a failure. I know that I have changed, and I don't like it. I used to be so understanding, so considerate, I was nice to everyone no matter what, and always gave them a chance. I helped people when I could, and I was fair to everyone. But then I was told that I was a pushover. I was too nice. People used me. Alot. And I didn't like that. So I tried sticking up for myself. I got a backbone. I stopped letting people get away with walking all over me. But then I was called a bitch. People stopped liking me. They thought I was angery, or mad at them, or something. I lost friends. I don't like that, either. And now I don't know who I am. I set goals. I get told I will fail. I do fail. I can't ever get anything accomplished because I have it stuck in my mind that I am just going to fail anyway. And I'm too damn proud to ask for help. The people I am close to, the people that I would usually go to, they all think that I am some ignorant loser, and to me it seems like if I go to them for help, especailly if its for something that I shouldn't need help with, well that just confirms everything they thought. I am on the fucking verge of losing everything that ever meant anything to me, and I am just quitely spinning out of control. I'm on the losing path, and I have no clue how to set it right. Everything I have tried has failed.

Oh?

While laying in bed...

Daniel: *yelling at an unknown body part* DAMMIT! Stop itching! If you itch one more time, I'm going to scratch your ass back to the park!
Me: WHAT?!
Daniel: *embarrased/groggy* Nothing. I was talking.
Me: I noticed...
Daniel *whining* Stop agreeing with me...

10 Minutes With Kitty

Kitty is licking my finger.
Kitty is being placed on bed.
Kitty is trying to help me type.
Kitty is again being placed on bed.
Kitty is climbing onto my shoulder.
Kitty also smells like an orange.
Kitty is once more being placed on the bed.
Kitty is now licking my shirt.
Kitty has decided, now, to chew on my shirt.
Kitty has moved to the back of the desk and is chewing on/attacking a cup full of pens.
Kitty has hopped down an buggered off.
Exit Kitty.
*3 minutes later*
Kitty is back and and staring at me.
Kitty has now turned into a back massager.
Kitty is crawling ever so gently from the back of the chair to my shoulder to the desk.
Kitty continues to smell like an orange.
Kitty is now forming a bridge.
Kitty is on my lap, intently watching me type.
Kitty is chewing on my thumbnail.
It is very hard to type.

Did I mention that Kitty likes the Powerpuff Girls?

meow

Me and Daniel got his mom a new kitten. She named it Buddy. It's so cute! When I get back to school, I will post a picture of it. (The cord that transfer's the pics from the camera to the PC is in my dorm room).

Bob: *brings in a ham wrapped in selofane*
Krystal H: Did you just cut that off the steer?
Bob: No. That's how I thought it would come off the steers though.
Crystal K: You thought they would be hams?
Bob: No. I thought they would come out wrapped in selofane, with all the plastic they ate!

I HATE YOU...(AS WELL AS A FEW OTHERS)

Have you ever disliked someone sooo much that hearing their name makes you cringe? Hated them so much that knowing they are in the same building as you makes you want to throw things? Completely despised them so much that hearing their voice, their laughter, their fucking annoying laughter, makes you want to just go out there, bash their bloody face in, and give them something to cry about? You just want to smack the shit out of anyone who happily looks at her and smiles, and thinks she is the most wonderful thing ever...or even tolerable for that matter.

It's not that I didn't hate the last childish conniving little bitch that my brother went out with - Sam. She was like 14 or something and she was way to immature for him and all she did was fuck with his head because she knew that she had him wrapped around her ugly little finger. She was the snottiest, bitchiness, most disrespectful, two-faced little bitch I have ever had the displeasure of not being able to avoid meeting. And the worst part of it is that I knew what she was all about way before my brother ever met her, and I tried telling him and mom that, but did they believe me? Well no...After her true colors were revealed, mom insisted that she always hated her, but I know she didn't.

Next...To elaborate on a previous post, Nicole Webster is a immature *** and whatever else I called her. She seemed so nice. She had us all fooled. Even me. Just barely though...But ya then she breaks up with my brother, calls him all the time, tells him to come see her, says that she just needs time, gives him false hope time and time again that they might get back together, and then puts a restraining order on him just because he came to her work and brought her a fucking chicken sandwich. According to the papers she filled out, she was "scared for her life." She "didn't know what he would do next." He "threatened" her with flowers and a teddy bear. The part that really got me was this: my brother's best friend happens to be a cop. Naturally, my brother talked to his friend about how things were going with Nikki. On the papers, Nikki wrote "a member of the police department has talked to him about this, and yet nothing has changed." GO TO HELL, YOU MANIPULATING LITTLE BITCH. And she was so fucking immature about the whole ordeal...there is no way that I can even begin to express to you what extent of immaturity she reached. And then, at court, he's sitting there about to cry, sick to his stomach, scared shitless about what she is going to say to the judge, nervous because he thinks the judge will favor her because she's a girl, and Nikki is setting there, flipping her hair around, giggling like a schoolgirl and pissing the judge off. She drops the charges, just like that. She leads him on, scares the shit out of him, then acts like nothing happened. Even if he doesn't hate her for this, I sure do. And if I ever see her ugly ass again I'm going to kick the shit out of her. BITCH!!!!

So now, back to the little wench I was initially talking about - Jenny. She's a little hoe-bag. A fucking little slut that knows how to suck up to parents and teachers. She thinks she is the awesomest person in the world. And I swear, if mom falls in love with her, I'm going to scream. If she becomes part of the family just like that, I'm going to fucking kill someone. There is no fucking way that I can stand the idea of her weaseling her ass-kissing little nose into my life, and my family, and I'll kill her before I'll ever call her my fucking sister.

I Am A Horrible Friend

I never call anyone. I don't even think about it. And then when they call me, they tell me that I should call them. Yet I never do. I'm so inconsiderate. Im an inconsiderate, forgetful meanie.

Llama In A Car

I love this picture. I just wonder how it happened.

My Dad, The Squirrel Lover

Note: The following dialogue is not neccessarily what was actually said. It is, however, bloody well close enough.


I am at my dad's house when I notice that on the table, there is a medicine jar full of what looks like almonds. Now, I'm fairly certain that I think I see almonds in the jar only because next to it on the table are a few loose almonds.
Me: Dad. Is that medicine jar full of almonds?
Dad: Ya.
Me: Why????
Dad: I can't eat them. I like to put them on the stump out there [in the yard] and let the squirrels eat them. *demonstrates*
Me: *laughing*
Dad: Of course, I haven't been able to get out there lately. There are two more pill bottles full of them somewhere around here. *starts searching for them*
Me: You know, someone is going to see you out there and think that you are trying to drug up the squirrels.

If you know my dad, you will understand two (2) things. One, that this whole thing was ALOT more funny to those who witnessed it personally, and Two, this sort of behavior is completely natural. If you also know me, you will realize a third thing, that being that you now understand where I get my personality from.

What A Day! (Scowling Tire Repair Men and A Member Of The Police Force Offering To Hand Me Over To The Dominoes Guy In Exchange For A Pizza)

Today I went and had my car tire fixed. They made me drive it up onto one of those little ramp thingies. I have this perpetual fear that I will menuver myself off of the track and my car will tumble the whole, what, 6 inches, to the ground and the rail will smash everything under the car. So that was scary. Then they took off the lug nuts and smacked the tire with a big mallet looking thing. It fell off and what was left of my car reminded me of a broken Hot Wheel car. My parental instinct kicked in and I was tempted to look for the missing wheel and throw the rest of the car away. This is not a safety issue. Obviously, the removal of one wheel is not going to make the car small enough to swallow. It just looks junky. Well I'm getting off the subject. They ended up replacing some valve and glueing some beads. What are beads doing in a car tire? Ignore my ignorance. I only today found out that car tires dont have tubes in them like bike tires do.

Just recently (as in, like, 20 minutes ago), the Dominoes guy showed up to bring Crys and I our pizza. David and Patrick were here, and for some odd reason, Patrick felt compelled to do away with me. He says to the pizza guy "I'm gonna make a deal with you. Do you have a girlfriend?" "Ya." the guy says. "Dammit." says Patrick. "I was gonna say you take her *points to me* and I'll take the pizza." Keep in mind that the pizza was not for him in the first place. Neither am I. Therefore, the exchange of said goods is not under his discression. *shrugs* It was funny though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of days, Crystal was having one today, too. And good thing, too, as it really made mine and Evan's enjoyable.

~~In the Econo parking lot, said individual screamed at an old guy for walking too slow.
~~In Kesslers, said individual quietly freaked out on a group of old people for walking next to each other and taking up the entire walking space in the isle.
~~In the tire place, said individual made rude comments about the nice man who lent us a tank of air. (correction: this man scowled at me. fucker.)
~~Said individual displayed numerous fits of road rage. *sneeze* (sorry...I am developing a cold)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Said individual has now lost her mind and will not stop laughing.
Said individual is now leaking from the eye sockets.

Notable Annoyance of the Day

You know, I really hate when someone constantly thinks that they are the center of everyone else's world. Examples:

"Oh my god...they just said "starving." I always use that word. I really hate when people steal my words. I guess I can't even say that word anymore..."

"Did you see him? He just looked at me. You know what else? I see him every monday in my 9:00 class. And I also see him in my dorm building and in the cafeteria. He is stalking me."

Its ridiculous. And then your afraid to ever compliment them because they'll think you're yet another person who wants to be them. You dont want to agree with them because that will "prove" that you want to think just like them.

grrrr

Heh

Me: Do you smell like laundry detergent?
Ian. Possibly. I had a disaster. My shirt is crispy.

Its Hard To Find Good Help These Days

Me: Get me some turkey.
Crystal: *gets turkey*
Me: Now I need some bread.
Crystal: *gets bread*
Me: What do we have to put on here to make it taste better?
Crystal: We have ketchup and Ranch dressing, master.
Me: Get me the ketchup.
Crystal: *gets ketchup* (bowing) Anything else master?
Me: No. You are dissmissed.
Crystal: *walks toward door with a hot dog*
Me: I didn't say you had to leave.
Crystal: I'm going to go cook my hot dog, master.

A few moments later

*knock on the door*
Me: Come in.
Crystal: *walks in with a floppy hot dog* *walks toward me and starts waggeling it in my face*
Me: DO NOT STRIKE YOUR MASTER WITH A FLOPPY HOT DOG!!!!!!
Crystal: Sorry master. It will not happen again. *looks at feet*

The Return And Punishment Of The Fork That I Burnt My Tongue Upon

"In case you wnder why there's a fork over here "going against the grain", it's because I'm keeping an eye on that fork."
-Crystal

Have You Ever Bought A Pair Of Jeans And Found A Rock In The Pocket?

Not a pebble, mind you, but I'm talkin' a big 'ol rock!
Cuz I have...



And furthermore, have you ever had so much fun doing laundry??
Last night/this morning, Jon gothified me against my will. He just suddenly pulled out his make-up and brushes and demanded me to "come hither." I probably could have held my refusive stance if he hadn't fuckin' looked at me like that. I hate him...(or not).
You know how some people can just give you this look and you like, melt and surrender to their will? Ya, he does that to me...
So as all this is going on, Ian is on the washing machine being all...well...being Ian. There are no words to describe this phenomonon.
Jon starts fixing my hair up. He decides that my bangs are uneven and too long, so he asks if he can chew part of it off so it will be even. I figured he would maybe chew through the tips of a few strands. Nope! He took off about 3 inches of a noticable section on each side.

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

At first I thought it was going to totally suck...Once you hit 16, no one really cares about your birthday anymore. Plus, Daniel wasn't here to give me my birthday spanking (or anything else, for that matter...*wink*).

So they picked today to have the Kramer gift exchange party. It was also a "going away party" for Raelyn, one of our RA's that is going to be graduating this year. I understood that there was to be food at this party, so I wandered over there. I stood there and watched people open gifts for a bit when this girl came in. She had no one to exchange gifts with. I was like "You should give it to me. It's my birthday." I was kind of joking...But she did! It was Easy Mac. Pretty convenient considering the only reason I went down there was because I was hungry.

So I was just chillin' in my room when Raelynn walks in and succeeds in convincing me to come back down to the lobby. When I walked in, everyone started singing "Happy Birthday" and I was handed a piece of cake.

Yay! *does a little dance*

Winter Has Arrived

So...Sunday night, pretty much all of South Dakota was in a blizzard/winter weather warning. And ya, basically, the next morning, my car was covered from head to toe (?) with a half inch of solid ice. I had alot of fun getting it off, that's for dang sure. Especailly when my fucking ice scraper broke. So I now have a big wooden stick with a brush on it. It was OK though, because I got to repeatedly whack my car with a big wooden stick. I had to shatter the ice over the windows (by far the most fun...it was like shattering the glass only not so expensive), around the doors, the trunk, and the hood.

(Ammendment: Today I went to put gas in my car, and while I was at the station realized I hadn't freed up my gas door. So I got out my stick and beat the car until the ice was off. I'm sure I got a few strange looks...)

On Tuesday, I got to go to Mallette and do it to someone else's car. *smilez*

Crystal's car had just been chillin' out at this gas station in Mallette since Sunday. It needed to be fixed before it could be driven again. So she calls the gas station to ask if there is a mechanic in Mallette. The dude who answered the phone said no and asked what was wrong with the car. When she told him, he offered to fix it for free. His wife worked at the station and he was just hangin' out there, bein' bored. So ya...

While we were waiting for Crystal's car to be ready, we just chilled inside talking to the guy's wife. She explained how she had been outside when Crystal called and when she came back in, her husband announced that he was going to go home and get his tools so that he could "fix that car sittin' outside." How random must that have seemed? *lolz*

Come Again?

Hey Nonny...since I shared my orgasm with you, can I taste your peach?


(I apoligize to anyone who is offended by this type of immature humor. *cough*)

If I Had Only Mulled Over The Sandwich Fixings A Bit Longer!

Today, I was on a mission. A mission to buy cheap bag of popcorn kernels. Popcorn kernels which would come and share with me a meaningful, overnight relationship. A relationship which would consist of being submerged in water (this is acutally more them than me...) and sloshed about periodically. It's all in the name of science.

So as I was leaving Kessler's (a grocery store near campus), two police vehicles come whirling at me, lights flashing, and park near the entrance. As I walk to my car, I turn around and see them go marching into the store. Comming from a town where the most exciting thing that ever involves the cops is a speeding ticket, this is awesome.

Ways To Annoy Lord Voldemort

10. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

9. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

8. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

7. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

6. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'

5. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars

4. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

3. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

2. Cuddle him at random moments.

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO ANNOY LORD VOLDEMORT IS...

1. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

"You can stand when your legs are half asleep. By this I mean when half of your legs are asleep."
-Roy

*LOLZ*

Today, most of SD was blanketed with Winter Weather Advisories. Crystal and I were advised to run to Aberdeen together (in our seperate cars) so that if one of us had an accident, the other would be there to rescue them. The roads were fine up until Redfield (3/4 meaning that 3/4 of the way back was alright). Then, suddenly, the roads got pure icy. Luckily, I only saw one car in the ditch.

Unfortunaly, it was Crystal's.

After I hit her with my car.

I actually made a cute little picture in Paint to illistrate what happened, but for some reason, Blogger isn't allowing me to post it...bitch

What A Boring Little Day

I sure hope that Christmas vacation doesn't suck this much...

OH Dear...I'm a HICK

So I was listening to this song, "hicktown" by some jason dude...and anyway I realized that most of the things they do to "get down" seemed pretty normal to me. So after I had spent over a year trying to convince my friends from *up north* (by "up north" I mean the Indian reservation in North Dakota...) that I wasn't a hick because I didn't live on a farm, I suddenly have this thrown in my face! *Shoot me now...*

What really got me was this: picture two *manly men* trying to fix a flat tire using chewing gum, an apple jice bottle label, and super glue... TRUE STORY (Ty and Tonto)

MacGeyver would have been proud...well except for the fact that they never actually fixed it...

DIFFICULT TIMES LIE AHEAD, HARRY

Finally...November 18th!!

As the clock struck midnight early, early this morning, I was sitting in a darkened movie theater amongst a room full of other Harry Potter fans. I was finally getting to see Goblet of Fire. I had been waiting for this...and it was so worth it!

I have, of course, read all the books, and so I knew exactly what was going to happen, yet I still clung to every sound and every bit of action. Several minor things needed to be cut out (otherwise the movie would have been like 8 hours long!) but that was OK. That helped to move things quickly along to the important parts.

I'm not going to put any spoilers in here in case someone hasn't seen it or read the book...but I will say that I cried more than once. But maybe that's just me getting too involved with the characters. I dont know. But I have class soon, so I am going to bugger off and get ready.

Something You Didn't Know...

Last night, I was laying there in my bed, trying to go to sleep, when Crystal erupts with a sudden burst of giggles. After checking that I am awake, she then relays to me the conversation that she had just heard on the radio:

Radio Announcer Guy: If you could go on a date with any country music star, who would it be?
Caller: I would have to say Blake Shelton
RAG: Ya? Did you know he has a pet turkey?
Caller: No. Really?
RAG: Well he did. It died. I think he got another one. Do you know what his turkey's name is?
Caller: No. What is it?
RAG: Turkey

Are You Intimidated By This Bunny?

On the sidewalk right outside the Student Center, there is a sidewalk chalk drawing of a bunny. A cute, seemingly harmless little bunny. Next to it is written the text "Are you intimidated by this bunny? (As Crystal read this to me, she was so inclined to add "The one you are standing on") If yes, do nothing. If no, check here (here, was a small box completely full of check-marks) or here (here was another, larger box which also contained several check-marks).


I would also like to add that elsewhere on campus, there are several rocks glued to the sidewalk.

Unlevened Brownies

As everyone knows, unlevened bread is bread made without any ingredients. So the same goes for brownies, right?


Which brings me to my next point. See, Crystal's mom made us some brownies, and I was feeling pretty damn good after I ate mine!!! I seem to have been staring at the 3rd floor lounge ceiling, talking to myself and adding "-io" to everything I said to myself (Hello-io. How are you-io? I'm good-io!). So we get back into the room;

ME:"Your mom did this! She put something in them! What did she put in them??"

*points to space on plate where brownies used to reside*

STILL ME:"Where'd they go?! They're not there! Where did they go?!"

CRYSTAL: "She didn't put anything in them. That's why they're not there."

P.S. Try spelling "ceiling" like this:

cieling

IT'S HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A COUPLE DOZEN WEEKS SO FAR...

WHO'S NEXT??

I met my brother's "boyfriend" last weekend. His name is Marcus. I love this dude. He's awesome. Due to some confidentiality contracts, I can't really disclose the details of the weekend, but let's just say that I made a very awesome new friend. He smiles alot and makes llama noises. And he's really hott...

Also, Ian is fucking awesome!

He was telling us about these hallucinations he has had in the past while under the influence of some "hypnotic substance". He finishes up with "I saw a bug yesterday. That might have been real though..."


Oh, you should click here (make sure you allow pop-ups)

So Ya....Jerry Sucks

But whatever...Im not sure why he hates me, or why he is so public about it, but that's fine. I don't like him so much either.

I heard it had something to do with a certain couple of posts that I had on here...well I read them, and they don't concern him at all, but they do concern his butt-buddy, and i guess i can see why he would be upset.

Not really, though, because they arent mean. In fact, my blog has SEVERAL very nice things about David on it. But who wants to read that when you can get pissed at me for something you'll never understand?

I suppose that really should have taken into account the fact some people are still in the preoperational stage of thinking (you generally outgrow this at age 7...) and so ya, my thought process is much too advanced for egocentric little fucknuts. But whatever. I hate you, too. So we're good.

Simple Plan in St. Cloud, Minnesota

Oh! What a long day! But very fun...


Stacy, Ty, and I drove 5 and a half freakin hours to St. Cloud Minnesota to see Simple Plan in concert. It wa so fucking cool. Even better than when I saw Seether. Our seats were better, there was more energy, and alot more happening on the stage. This chick threw her bra up on the stage, and it hit the singer in the face (or it nearly did.) Later, one of the band members ended up putting it on their head!

At one point, the drummer climbed up onto the balcony where we were all standing. He was, like, 3 feet away from me!

Besides singing at least a dozen of their own songs, they sang "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" by The Darkness, and snippets from several rap songs. I was rather touched when they sang "So Happy Together". They re-made this song for the Freaky Friday Soundtrack, but for me it holds a specail meaning. The original version of this song was played on the oldies radio station that my grandma listened to when I was a kid. This was the first song I remember learning the words to. I couldn't have been more than 4 years old. The song has always meant something to me, and I love Simple Plan's sound, and so that fact that one of my favorite bands brought back this specail song, well it's just kinda nice.

Jammin' Out On The Guitar

Singing To The Crowd

Just Some Of The Reported 3,000 + Fans

Ketchup and Crack

Tonight, in the midst of doing homework (and other unimportant things), Crystal and I decided to go to Wal-Mart to get ketchup. While we're there, we started looking at the Halloween candy and attempted to choose what kind we would buy to hand out tomorow night. So much to choose from! Chocolate toes and exploding blood balls! The candy industry has definately evolved since my younger days. So Crystal picks up a bag of pixie stix. I am reminded of a bumper sticker I saw once.

"Pixie Stix. Because not every kid can afford crack."

I commented on this, and shortly after, we started finding other drug references in the candy isle: Mary Jane Peanut Butter Chews and Dubble Bubble Gum (Our hall director can be credited for this one, as he is the one who told us that he laces it with cocaine before putting it in the hall candy dish) just to name a couple. This cute Jeremie guy, a Wal-mart employee, walked by and kinda looked at us all somehow as we laughed at all this. I have become alot more outspoken this year, and so I (loudly) made the comment that he probably thought we were druggies. He look over and smiled. When I asked him how long he had been listening, he explained that he heard the word "druggie" and just had to look. *smile*

After this, another employee came over and we all discussed candy. Finally, we made our selections and walked off. We stalled a bit, hoping to see "that cute guy" again. Crystal pointed out to me that we probably gave a couple people somthing to talk about when they got home. Just then, I noticed Jeremie behind us.

"Are you gonna talk about us when you get home?" I ask. He said he would, if that's what we wanted. Then I invited him to trick-or-treat at our place. (I can think of so many lines I could have used, if only I had thought of them at the time...)

I'm so glad that I have become more outspoken now. Its a great way to meet people. You know, if it wasn't more me, I'd never meet anyone new!

Hey Ian...Let's Play Library!

Crystal accidently returned some books she borrowed from the Alexander Mitchell library to the NSU library. When that happens, they send them over to the correct place. When the AML still hadn't seen them after a week, she went back to NSU to see if they were still there. I went with her. Ian was working there, and since he's only a workstudy student, he wasn't exactly sure where he should look to see if the books were still waiting to be sent. "Let me call the reference librarian." he said. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. Less than 100 feet away, the phone rang. The reference librarian answered. I could hear everything that she was saying, because she was in the same room...She would ask a question (we would hear it) and then he would relay the question to us.

I tried so hard not to laugh. I could tell that Ian wanted to laugh to, but he didnt. Props to him for that...

Words Per Minute

HEY!!! Go to www.typingtest.com and see how many WPM you can type...I did 61 with 96% accuracy.

What's The Point of a Big Fancy Wedding?

I mean, really, you spend all this money on elaborate decorations, food, and entertainment...and who is it all for? The guests, mostly. You will be married to the person whether you go to the JP or go all out...so basically all the frills are to make yourself look rich and impressive. And you have to pay for the gowns, tuxes, and to have your hair done. I'm sure its all very nice, and you feel like a princess or something, but ya...I don't even wanna go through the millions of invitation styles and dress alterations just to be impressive and make the church look pretty. It's like saying that someone has to dress all fancy and look perfect in order for them to mean anything.

I know I'm feeling a little bitter right now...Travis hates me. Why? What did I do to him? We don't even talk. The only things he knows about me are what Daniel tells him. And whatever problems Daniel has had with me in the past, he is obviously over them now, as he wants to marry me more than ever. And I feel the same. So why does Travis think that Im such a cheater and that Daniel could do so much better? Well we don't think much of your controlling, crabby little wench either, but do we tell you to dump her? No. Because you're with her for a reason, aren't you? So we're happy for you.

And what has Daniel been saying about me at work? I was not in a bad mood this weekend. In fact, I had the best time with you that i have had in a long time. We were flirting like a brand new couple, but at the same time, our love felt so deep that it was like we were married. I dunno...whatever...Its just that I have had so many people talking shit about me lately that I can't stand the thought of the one person that is suppossed to always be there for me doing it...even though its like the three-hundreth time that I have had things he supossedly said come back to me, and he denies them all. Oh well, who cares. Its just guy-talk, I hope. And he loves me. And thats all that matters...

Random Quotes From Daniel...

We were in Wal-Mart, and there was a mechanical turkey toy that sang "Chicken in the Straw". I was very amused by this. I had never heard the actual words to the song before, so I don't know if they made this part up or not, but it said "Standin' on a pumpkin and the pumpkin rolls away". I just busted a gut! That was the silliest thing I've ever heard! Why would you be standing on a pumpkin, and furthermore, how do u not expect it to roll away? Do you stay on when it rolls, or will you fall over and look like an idiot who has no business standing on another pumpkin for as long as you live? I was just perplexed by this when Daniel goes "Well it's just like standing on a turkey." HUH?! Why would you be stadning on a turkey? "Well you have to catch it somehow. If you can't shoot it, you stand on it."

OK.....

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Ok, so we have this little inside joke where he will "walk" his fingers on my head and that's suppossed to be a "moose". He will make the "moose" do a variety of things: walk, run, jog, skip, fall down, jump repeatedly with excelerated gravity. Well he was doing that on my forehead last night, and I asked him to get the moose off my forehead. So he moved it to my cheek. Get the moose off my face! So it migrated to my (very ticklish) side. NO MORE MOOSES WALKING ON ME!!!!!! So he lifts my shirt up in the back and starts to gently drag his fingers along. Now I have a pretty good idea what he's doing, so I have already erupted with a fit of laughter when I ask "Is he ice skating???"

He was...

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Daniel has been suffering from a cold, and, unbeknownst to me, he sprayed some sort of decongestant or something into his nostrils before bed. So he crawls in next to me, and I'm like "What smells funny?" Well I dunno he says...what is that smell? OH!! It's my nose!!

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THE SHIT LIST

The following are people who need to fucking die and stop contaminating the world with their foul stench of a personality:

NICOLE WEBSTER
DAVID FREY
MAGGIE KELLY
SHAWNNA SINGREY


FUCKING KILL THEM ALL!!!!!! IN THE MOST PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE. REFER TO WWW.SMACKSONSATURN.BLOGSPOT.COM FOR GREAT IDEAS ON HOW TO DO THIS!

I'd Lkie To Watch You Drown And Die

You guys are pretty fucking hilarious. Most of that shit that you said to Daniel during your IM conversation could easily go right back on you. The rest of it made no sense whatsoever!

Katie and I can estroy you and darci. Go look at her yahoo personal and see what shes doing.

OK, so on my profile, I have a picture of myself looking goth. HOW THE HELL IS THAT GOING TO DESTROY US?????????????

She's been with a 13 year old.

This is that rumor about me and Kyle. Daniel knows Kyle, and he knows I didn't sleep with him. And this comment also proves that Katie was saying some of this shit, and she CANNOT say that it was all David. She knew about this rumor. She knew it wasn't true, too, but she's a back-stabbing liar.

I don't treat women like trash

According to KATIES FAMILY you are VERY FUCKING CONTROLLING...even if she's too stupid to realize it.

Daniel: why dont you stop worrying about us and worry about your own life and try to get your son back?
Them: outside your house, 5. You must not caer about your godson then huh? Thats OK because you are no longer his godfather and darci is no longer his godmother.

OK, OBVIOUSLY HE DOES CARE ABOUT HIS GODSON BECASUE WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HIM, UNLIKE YOU FUCKERS THAT LOST HIM TWICE AND DONT EVEN SEEM TO REALISE THAT YOU'LL NEVR GET HIM BACK

I thought she cared about me and mike and david but all she cares about is how she can destroy my life any more than it already is by spreading lies to others when she has no place to talk because she wont know whats its like to have kids for another 5 years.

YOU HYPOCRITIC LITTLE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN HAVE I EVER SPREAD LIES ABOUT YOU???? YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SPREADS LIES ABOUT ME, FUCKER! AND I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU, EVEN AFTER ALL YOUR OTHER "FRIENDS" GAVE UP AND GOT PISSED AT YOU, I STILL TALKED TO YOU, EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT AGREE WITH YOUR DECISIONS, AND I KNEW THAT YOU WERE TO FUCKING INDEPENDENT TO EVER LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAID. ALSO, I WORK WITH KIDS, AND I BET I TAKE BETTER CARE OF THEM THAN YOU DO. WHEN YOU LIVED WITH KRISTY ALL YOU CARED ABOUT WAS WHAT SHE WAS DOING WRONG WITH HER SON. TRUST ME, YOU WERENT PERFECT EITEHR. YOU NEED TO STRAIGHTEN OUT YOUR FUCKING PRIORITIES, BITCH.

You are so cheap you take her to mcdonald's tot ake her out to dinner every time you go out to watertown

Ummm....OK? No, he doesn't. We hardly ever go to McDonald's.

She should pay for her own shit and not have to rely on others to pay for her stuff its called being grown up.

OK FUCKBAGS, WHO IS IT THAT IS RELYING ON THE FUCKING STATE, YOUR FAMILIES, AND EVERYONE ELSE???? I HAVE A JOB. I CAN KEEP A JOB. I HAVE NEVER BEEN FIRED. I DONT LIVE IN A FUCKING CAMPER IN MY MOMMIES BACK YARD!!!! YOU ALSO MADE A COMMENT ONE TIME ABOUT HOW YOUR MOM TAUGHT YOU HOW TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. UMMMM...OBVIOUSLY NOT, BECAUSE EVERYWHERE YOU HAVE LIVED HAS LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING SHIT HOLE.

Tell darci to keep her naked body away from mathew.

When the fuck have i ever been close to putting my naked body on him??? i dont know why you have this idea in your head...its prolly all because of kristy, shes a liar too...i dont have a crush on shaggy...i just think hes alot better person than you. he isnt a LOSER.

The Evils Of Pepto Bismul!

This morning, much to my amazement, I woke to discover that I had a black tongue!!! At first I freaked out...but then I Googled it! Here's what I discovered...

Bismuth is the active ingredient in Pepto Bismol. When it comes into contact with trace amounts of sulphur in your saliva it combines into Bismulth sulphide which is black. This stain can last for up to a couple of days.


Read more at this discussion board!

Im feeling a little better today. I no longer want to murder Fuckhead and leave him in a puddle of blood. I no longer want to propel myself off of the top of the water-tower. No longe do I feel like sitting in a dark room bawling my ass off over anything and everything. I am no longer convinced that everything I ever did was a huge mistake. I thinkI might be OK.


For now...

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what the hell is going on
in your head?
i dont even know you anymore.
you used to be my friend
but this is the end
fuck you and all the memories we made

walking away is so hard to do
i can't just pretend
i dont know you
what used to be is done and gone
you threw it all away when you said those things

ive put up with your shit
ive forgave your mistakes
but now theres nothing you can say
its so hard to turn my back on a friend
but a friend i can no longer keep you

i've gotta do whats best for me
i've gotta get away
i tried to help, i was always there
and this is the fucking thanks i get?

good luck, you'll need it
please prove me wrong
make something of yourself
make me proud
cuz right now i dont ever wanna see you again

what hurts is that you're all the same
caught up in playing your favorite game
two-faced liars with hidden adgendas
i've had enough, im not amused
who are my real friends?
the ones that are here...

jon, stacy, crystal, mal...i fucking love you guys...dont ever leave me...

What's in the Toaster?

You don't know if it's bread or toast.
You can see it but it's bathed in Ambiguous Red Light.
At what point does bread become toast?
Should you hit the lever? It's been a while.
No, in the end, you just have to trust the machine.

EVEN GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR

Just look at the platypus.

A Couple Of Llamas Looking As Though They Were About To Cause Some Mischief

If you're like me, you have always wondered what noise a llama makes. It keeps you up at night. You no longer do the things that you like doing. You're friends all think there is something wrong, but you just can't quite bring yourself to tell them. They begin to think that you don't trust them anymore, and so they eventually stop comming around. You sit. Alone. Disheartened. Uneducated. This sad, lonely life leads you to drinking. And one day, as you sit in your drunken stupor watching re-runs of Happy Days, it dawns on you. LLAMAS AREN'T REAL!!!!


Just kidding!!! They are, in fact, very real! And you may click here to find out what they sound like when they sit around with their friends and play poker. (note that they actually still have friends, because they all already know very well what noise they make)

CROSSFADE

SEETHER

For those who didn't know, I got to go to a Seether/Crossfade concert in August. They performed in Sioux Falls at the fair with Dark New Day as their opening act. It was the first concert I have ever been to. It was the awesomest thing ever! I love seether, and so I had been playing their newest CD for weeks and weeks. My favorite song of theirs, though, is definately Remedy. The only Crossfade song that I know is "Cold". I am in love with that song (as you can tell by the title of the site...). No matter how many times you listen to a song on the radio/CD/MP3, that is nothing compared to hearing it live. The energy in the crowd was amazing. When they played Remedy, I was in a trance from the first note to the last chord. I cannot stress enough how AMAZING it was...It was one of the best experiences I have ever had.

I Have Never Before Been Chased By A Flock Of Guinneas

This I Know To Be True!!!!

Nicole Webster

This post is long overdue, and I'm much too tired to explain everything in detail. Perhaps later on I will revisit this post and make things less vague. But for now, I would just like to say this.


NICOLE WEBSTER IS AN IMMATURE, EGO-CENTRIC, INCONSIDERATE, TWO-FACED, LYING BIIIITTTCCCHHHH

Thank you.

My Thoughts As I Stare Off Into Bolivia

So basically, I used to have this idea that if someone disagreed with or felt uncomfortable with something that I was doing or how I felt, I must do all in my power to explain my point of view to them. Even if they still didn't agree, hopefully they could understand. I really hated to have others thinking bad things about me, and if they must, I at least wanted them to be based on fact rather than on rumors or assumptions. But I have explained myself to some people over and over. They know my weaknesses. They know my insecurities. They know that I make mistakes and that I regret them and that I'll probably make them again. They know I'm a hypocrite at times. Who isn't? But I try and be fair. Even if I do comment on the character flaw of another, I will, if provoked (and sometimes on my own), admit that I have similiar problems. In all fairness, to myself and to others, I think that most flaws seem alot more substantial when they belong to someone else. I also believe that before you judge someone [I mean really judge them...not just make overexaggerated observations and bitch, but when forming your final opinions after a sufficient cool-down] that you should have as much of an understanding of their point of view as they will give you. Also, always assume that there is some unforeseen circumstances that you are unaware of. That isn't always the case, but you never know when it may be. That is precisely why I feel compelled to provide my side. If it involves admitting faults, then so be it.

But lately, I have decided that I no longer will worry myself over this. OK, so in all honesty, I probably will. But for those who don't know me that well, who cares what they think? I know this is a basic philosophy that mainy claim to follow, but really, who doesn't care at least a little bit about what others thing? I'm still going to care, but not as much. And for my close friends...well it was always their opinions that mattered the most. Just the slightest bit of negative feedback from them ruins my whole mood, no matter how inflated it previously was. I, naturally, will come back later and try to explain my side. But for goodness sake...they should already understand me well enough. And in any case, I don't have to answer to them. (I love that sentence. Just saying it in my head and knowing that I believe it makes me feel as though I have just made a breakthrough in the journey to my well-being.) They make choices that heaven knows I disagree with, but its not my business. If they ask me for advice, I will give it. Otherwise, I just try and let them go and if they screw up...well that's life. And I don't see why I should bother myself with reminding people for the seven hundreth time of how I feel and my background and blah blah blah blah blah...They already know enough about me, and if they still don't understand why I am how I am, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to help them.

Did You Ever Eat Paint Chips As A Kid?

Sandwiches are very friendly things. They fill your belly with substance and prevent it from eating itself. They are very versitile. They don't much mind what they are compossed of, so long as they fulfill their ultimate purpose in life. That purpose, however morbid, is what they live for! That purpose is to be grinded down by the blunt teeth residing in the backmost regions of most homosapians. There is no wrong way to eat a Reese's, and there is no wrong way to eat a sandwich. I personally like to rip off and consume the crust and surrounding area first, then excavate my way through the top slice, then through each layer of innards until i reach the bottom slice. At this point, my journey is finished. I feel satisfied and ready for anything!

I might add, in my closing, that one way I don't like to eat my sandwiches is with paint chips.

In College, You Start To Come Up With Your Own Recipies

OH NO!!! I'm one cracker short of a pickle and cheese sandwich!
-Crystal

Some Words Of Advice From The Creator Of Lord Of The Rings

"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him."

-J.R.R Tolkien

Sex and Death

"How much footage can you take of one woman's breasts? So when she throws her arms up they bobble up and down, big deal, toss up a cabbage and that comes down, too, why don't they show us five minutes of cole slaw?"

- from the play Sex and Death by Diana Amsterdam

Random Bits From HP that I Thought Were Mildly Amusing

"'Harry Potter knows that he can confide in me with complete confidence,' I told them. 'I would rather die than betray his trust.'"

"That's not saying much, seeing as you're already dead," Ron observed.

"Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe," said Nearly Headless Nick in affronted tones.

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"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"

"Yes," said Harry stiffly.

"Yes, sir."

"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor."

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"If you tell them," said Ron, shoving the necklace out of sight under his pillow, "I - I - I'll -"

"Stutter at me?" said Harry, grinning. "Come on, would I?"

"How could she think I'd like something like that, though?" Ron demanded of thin air, looking rather shocked.

"Well, think back," said Harry. "Have you ever let it slip that you'd like to go out in public with the words 'My Sweetheart' round your neck?"

"Well... we don't really talk much," said Ron. "It's mainly . . ."

"Snogging," said Harry.

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"I don't want to stay here overnight," said Harry angrily, sitting up and throwing back his covers. "I want to find McLaggen and kill him."

"I'm afraid that would come under the heading of 'overexertion,'" said Madam Pomfrey.

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"I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshment," Dumbledore said to Uncle Vernon, "but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness."

Just A Little Poem I Wrote...

This poem was inspired at 12:22 AM whilst eating freshly prepared Ramen Noodles (The Breakfast of Champions)

my tongue was burnt upon the fork,

upon the fork,

upon the fork.

my tongue was burnt upon the fork,

the fork of stainless china

I Would Like To Make An Ammendment

TYLER, I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im sorry that it seems as though Im always ignoring you or forgetting about you. That's not the case. In fact, I think about you alot more than I should...

But I just wanted to make a public announcement that I really miss you, and I wish you would call me cuz you said you would...

Looking In The Yellow Pages For Part-Time Job Ideas

Crystal (scanning the headings): I could get a job as a contact lens!
Darci: That would be an eye-opening experience!
Crystal: Yes. Very insightful.

Conversation Overheard at Naptime at the Daycare

Melissa: Madi, you need to go lay down.
Madi: Go buhbye?
Melissa: Not yet. Time to go nuh-nite. Then go buhbye after snack.
Madi: Buhbye?
Melissa: After snack. After we have a cookie.
Nick: My mommy and daddy went to the grocery store and they got some cookies!!!!
Erica: My mommy and daddy went to the grocery store too!!
Melissa: No, they went to Ireland.
Erica: Ya! They went to Ireland.



OK, so maybe you had to be there...

OK, you know how on jars of pickles and the like, it says "do not purchase if the safety button is up."? Well what if you were half done with your jar of pickles and then you took it back to the store demanding a refund or exchange? When the cashier pointed out to you the fact that half the pickles were gone and therefore a refund would not be granted, you could inform them that you "hadn't realized the button was up until you ate half of the pickles."

(***If you dont get this, please see note 1 below)

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NOTES:
1. The safety button on a sealed jar pops up when the jar is first opened, by the consumer or any other party, and remains up for eternity

*brookish accent* RAN-DOM!!!!!!

Today I ate a bowl of ice cream in a phone booth. It had chocolate and strawberry syrup aplenty, not to mention sprinkles and banana slices!

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Whoever first put cheese in a can is a genius. A genius with odd compulsions and probably no socail life, but a genius nonetheless. I really believe that, I do! And its great...a terrific addition to the unhealthy but convenient selection of college-student budget items that line the shelves of our local supermarket. It's also, I hear, and excellent source of calcium! It even helps with your sense of humor (that is if you are running on less than a couple hours of sleep and the heat index in your dorm is 190). The directions on the back of the can state: For best results, remove cap.

HAHA

Now I really do like Easy Cheese...my concern, however, lies with the poor little people who have the unfortunate jobs of shoving all that cheese in the can. I mean, that stuff is under alot of pressure...think of all the force and strength it must require to fit 20 pounds of cheese into an 8 ounce can...

Now I'm gonna go and get all philosophical on you...

OK, I didnt make these up...Crystal got them from a website...but they really make you think...

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Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

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When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

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Life is Full Of Bullshit Where Ever You Go

BUT AT LEST IT KEEPS LIFE INTERESTING



So ya...its less than a week before I go back to Aberdeen. Im pretty excited. Im gonna miss Daniel like hell though. That's the only part that will suck. Crystal's comming to school with me this year for sure, so I dont have to miss her. And Katie already lives in Aberdeen (although Im not sure how things are gonna go...long story).


OK, SO HERE'S WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO BLOG ABOUT:

I mentioned this on my member profile long ago, and I still believe it: im so irritated by people who whine to me about their problems and then when I offer advice, they completey dismiss it 100 percent of the time. It's like they don't really care what I think, even when I am the more rational one, and they know it. They want me to be the best friend I've always been, and help them out. I am flattered that people can talk to me about their problems, and I love being able to help them in some way. That is not the problem. Its when 5 minutes later they try and say everything is great when in reality its only gotten worse. I risk their good temperment by telling them calmly what I honestly think about their lifestyle, and they try to give me false assurances that everything is fine. Go ahead, screw up your life...that's your decision...but don't drag my baby down with you...please...

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So ya...I have made a terrible mistake again. I HAVE AN OPINION. Im so sorry people...

You know, I really did love you. I wanted to be one of your best friends. But that didnt happen. It couldnt, because my friends didnt like you, and yours didnt like me. And because your ideas of fun were quite different than mine. But the few times that we did get together, I thought it was great fun. And now, just because you utilized your blog and expressed yourself (which I dont have a problem with) and, mainly, becasue I used my own blog and made my own comments, now you suddenly give up on me and dont want anything to do with me. Fine. It's not like I was a major part of your life anyway. What are you losing? Not much...just a dorky chick who says random stupid things at the oddest times, someone who thinks differently than everyone else, someone who can laugh at the most retarded antics, someone who likes to express her opinion rather than surpress it...you know, I actually am alot like you. you said more than once that I was like your sister or that i should have been. That would have been awesome...but I guess I am too much like you

Some Quotes...

"Look...That garage [roof] is full of sparrows...they're all around the edges...it's like they're watching something...saaaSPIIIIcious..."
-Daniel

"I have nothing to do with the man that I married."
-Daniel


"IM A BALERRINA, FUCKER!!"
-Tyler

OK, Saturn...Here's What I Think

In response to "Twisting The Nuts" www.smacksonsaturn.blogspot.com


I think that for the title of that particular blog, you did exactly what you're preaching against. In fact, I think I have heard you do that same thing several times. I do agree though, it is VERY ANNOYING!!! ...in excess. Once in awhile, it can be humorous, just not every other sentence. I'm not around you all that much, and so I am hoping that you don't do it in excess. I cant really think of any one person who does, but it I do, I'll make sure to tell them to shut up or somthing...


"And don't forget, (in mocking voice) "friends don't let friends drive drunk." Screw that! As far as I'm concerned, give 'em the keys rev up the engine, and let 'em go sailing home with a bottle of taquila in their lap...They'll wrap themselves around a telephone pole and either be killed or paralyzed. Cruel, you say? Well, so is inflicting your drunken stupidity on the rest of the world, so be ready to pay the consequences. Asshole. "

OK, that quote right there done did pissed me off!!! So much, in fact, that the fact that I actually agreed with 90% of everything else you said is lost. I guess I was under the impression that you cared about your friends. I wrongly assumed that even if they made some bad choices, you would still love them. getting drunk is not the worst thing in the world, and it is something that you have recently started doing. (I was actually very proud of you before because even though most to all of your friends drank, you didn't believe in it. Now your spending substantail amounts of money on alcohol and hording at Terry's house. )Now, I do drink. And every time, the next morning, I say "never again". But that never lasts. I do it again. I know I'm OK by you because I dont, as you porotested against, get shitfaced every weekend. So anyway, back to what I was saying (I just reread the quote and got pissed all over again) That is VERY cruel. I'm sorry, but you dont fucking say that shit about your friends. I pray that you were just ranting, because if you really mean that, then you are heartless. You compare stupid ramblings to death. Death is permanent. Someone talking to you isnt. You can ignore, you can laugh, you can do whatever. In the morning, they will still be there and you can laugh at them all over again. I mean, come on...I remember when you and I talked all the time (sorta) and half of what we said was stupid ramblings...and we were straight sober! So I guess what I really mean is this...next time you get drunk, go ahead and drive home. You don't have to lie to your parents and say your staying at my house...just go home. I dont agree with it, but I wont be there to stop you. If you do end up killing yourself, I will bawl my ass off, because I love you. But at least I'll know you followed your own advise.

PS (just so you know, it was very very difficult for me not to mention Nikki in this post...)

Why I Hate My New Job

JK...It's not so bad. I mean, its housekeeping, just like my old one, but compared to the gig at the nursing home, this kicks ass! (I now work at a hotel in Watertown.) The only part that I don't like is my "boss". The other housekeepers share this opinion with me. I mean, she is a very nice girl (I saw "girl" rather than woman because it seems to all of us as though she is younger than us), but how she is able to keep the position of Executive Housekeeper is beyond me!

First of all, she and another lady were supossed to share the position, then somehow she kissed the manager's ass just enough to get it all to herself. The other girl told the manager that she had just made a huge mistake...and she is finally starting to see that she did! Tamiy (fuck it, I don't care if I use her name...) writes up the damn housekeeping scheduele, but she seems to always scheduele herself for days that she had doctor's appointments (I think I heard somewhere that she sees shrink). Why doesn't she work AROUND her personal scheduele so that she doesn't always have to call in and say she cant work. And who does she call in to? And HOW THE HECK do they buy her stupid excuses every single time?? When she IS at work, she is, by the national housekeeping code, supossed to clean at least 5 rooms. No one has seen her do one for weeks! She's always on the damn phone, usually with personal phone calls. I tell you what, if any of us behaved like this, we would have been fired long ago. Plus, alot of us newer girls have run into problems, because when she trained us, she told us incorrect information. We quickly learned to do like the ones who have been there for months and months and not even bother talking to her about anything. I mean, as a person, she's very friendly and considerate. I like her alot...she just isnt doing a good job as a boss, and alot of us are thinking that something should definately be done about it. Our main concern was the annual inspection...what with no head housekeeper to make sure that we got everything deep cleaned and perfect before the surprise inspection, we thought we would fail. But nope! All by ourselves we got the highest score in all of SD. YAY!!

First My Fishies, Then My Hamster, Now Achenar...

My brother Brian was hunting or sniping or something...I really dunno what...and he somehow aquired a baby rabbit. Just a little bitty thing with its eyes not even opened yet! So damn cute! And anyway, they had been keeping it on the stove in a skillet ( yes, this is odd). Seeing as to how my poor little hamster died, I now had a vacancy in my living room for something else small and furry. So they gave me the bunny (as I'm going "Oh cute! What is it? A bunny? Oh yes, I see it. It's so cute! I'll name him Achenar!Now...what the HELL am I supposed to do with this thing???"). I took him home, gave him milk, lots of loving, and a daddy (Ty's family raises bunnies, so I thought he might be a good asset to the family). Unfortunately, he only lived 30 some hours under my care. I don't feel terribly responsible though. The encyclopedia mentioned that most infant bunnies do not live into adulthood. If they did, the world would be overrun with bunnies (CUTE!!). After all, according to a show on Animal Planet, "Rabbits have a talent of making more rabbits."

Maybe it's for the best though. After all, the encyclopedia also stated that "The domestic rabbit is almost entirely harmless."

Not terribly reassuring...

The Lone Surviror!

So a few weeks ago, Ty was helping me dust, and he picked this small, black, bumpy, and shiveled object up and turns to me and goes "what is this?" I had never, in my 20 years of living in that house, seen it before. We decided it looked almost entirely like a burnt pickle, and so I went and woke my dad up to ask him. It was...

...here is its story...


Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western side of Hayti lies a Grocery store. Right exactly in this spot, many years ago, there used to be a grocery store...*dramatic pause for laughing*...but it burnt down. In the pile of rubbish was a pickle, burnt to a crisp but still clinging to what life it had in it. That pickle is now in our home, sitting amoungst cat figurines and old things on a bookshelf.

Don't Worry...I'm NOT Pregnant

I don't think, anyway. But I have really been thinking lately about what I would name my kids if I were asked to do it RIGHT NOW with NO REGARD to what the father said. I don't know what Daniel thinks of these names, except for Damian, which we have already decided to be the name of our first son.

Since I want, at most, 4 kids, and there is no way to determine if they will be boys or girls, I am trying to think of 4 names for each gender. here's my current favorites:

Boy Names

Damian

Jayden

Tarin

Kaden

Cole

Girl Names

Shaeleigh

Cadence

Tayah

Kira

Trinity

This Shit Is Bananas....

So ya, the other day I was outside in my yard with Crystal, and Kyle drove by in his mom's truck. He slowed down a little and yelled to me that he passed his driving test. I congratulated him and before I could ask him if his mom was still mad at me, or if I could be sent to jail for talking to him, he was passed. I was uber excited tho, 'cuz jus seeing him and knowing that he wasn't mad at me really relieved me. Every time I saw him around town, he would not acknowledge my presence. I had been so worried because it's one thing for Maggie to be mad, however rashly and unreasonably she arrived at her conclusions. But for her to turn all her kids against me (as she seems to have done with the two little ones) is ridiculous...I am consoled by the thought that if the little ones ignore me, it is by request from their mom, for they can't understand what's going on. I won't take it personally. But Kyle is old enough and independent enough to make his own decisions, and he doesn't seem to blame me for any trouble he may have gotten into. At least he is rational and can realize that I didn't do or say anything to make it appear as though we had done something. Why would I do that? I'm the one who would be S.O.L. He would be the "victim". But anyway, enough of this. It's retarded. But Kyle doesn't hate me, and equipped with that knowledge, life can now go on.

You Seek The Power Of The Jedi, Potter.

That was a random quote from my fiance...I forced him to watch five minutes of Harry potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with me :)

HARRY POTTER YEAR 6 COMES OUT ON THE 16TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anyway, my fiance, Daniel, is so cute...the other day, we were goin down this road in Watertown and there was this sign that said "Road Closed Ahead". When you looked straight ahead, however, it was evident that the road was not only closed, but had been blocked by the V.F.W Building. THERE WAS NO ROAD!!! You had the choice to turn right or left, but you could not go straight. So Daniel's like "Well no wonder it's closed! They put the damn V.F.W. Building in the way! Assholes..."

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE

I think I am HaPpY

All of my problems seem to have solved themselves, except for the misunderstanding with Maggie, and I don't see how on Earth she could still be thinking as she was before...after all, I understand that she was feeling as a mother should when under the impression that a 19 year old was messing around with him. She acted rashly, in a fit of rage. Hopefully she has calmed down and will allow me to talk to her rationally about it now, because I don't want to lose my friendship with her family over something stupid like this.


Its too bad that I don't get the chance to blog every day (or several times a day) like I used to...This summer has not been nearly as boring as it looks. In fact, I wrote a letter to my buddy Stacy, two letters actually, and both were fairly long. There has been alot of stuff going on, it just doesn't seem that exciting right now, and I can't remember half of it. See, the point of this blog, besides telling my friends what's been going on in the parts of my life they missed, is also for me to read so that I can look back and remember. And now I forgot!! People from Aberdeen who I didn't talk to all summer are gonna ask me what I did over vacation, and I'm gonna say "I fucked my little brother..."
NOTE: This is not a confession, I am being sarcastic. And I do consider this boy to be my little brother, which is yet another reason that I'm not ever gonna be sneaking around with him.

R.I.P. Chibi *sniff*

To My Hamster

Chibi Kenshin

My pet from May 2004 to June 2005

I Love And Miss You Baby!!

HOW CUTE...

MY BEST FRIEND IS DATING MY "EX".

KNOW WHAT'S EVEN CUTER? AWWWW SHE MIGHT BE PREGNANT WITH HIS KID...BUT I THOUGHT SHE WAS ENGAGED TO SOMEONE ELSE. OH WELL!!!!! HOW EXCITING FOR THEM. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT...IF SHE CAN ALREADY FEEL SIGNS OF PREGNANCY, THEN THAT MEANS IT WAS A WHILE AGO THAT THE ALLEGED BABY WAS CONCEIVED. HMMM...THAT MEANS THAT THEY FUCKED WHEN I WAS SUPPOSSEDLY GOING OUT WITH HIM. HOW IRONIC. THATS WHAT HAPPENED WITH HER LAST KID TOO. I BETTER BE THE GODMOTHER OF THIS ONE, TOO!!!

So you guys know, Im not even mad. If anything, I think it's funny as hell. Good Luck!!

So Ya...

I am so fed up with everything. Im not sure what that means, but its that time of the month, so Im going through my monthly "the-worl-is-a-dark-and-hateful-place-and-Im-gonna-pick-one-person-to-be-my-only-savior" ritual.

This month, it's either Daniel or Kyle, but since I'm not allowed to be around Kyle anymore...(sorry, still pissed about that), its just Daniel. My friends agreed with me that he was too clingy, too possessive. But now, they don't understand that I want to be with him every second as well. Its like, alot of shit has happened that should have made us grow farther apart, but despite that, we both feel more in love than ever. Im hopeing that Crystal finally understands, since she has an awesome boyfriend now too. Anyway, I dont know what this blog is about. I just had a really good day with the slight implication of a headache, but then suddenly I get accused of doing something that I was TOLD to do. And not even by the person who was pissed about it. She was around me for two hours and said nothing, she just started sending people to spy on me and her son. RUIN MY FUCKING DAY, WILL YOU! I LOVE ALL THREE OF YOUR KIDS, AND YOUR NEICE AND NEPHEWS OR COUSINS OR WHATEVER THEY ARE. AND NOW YOU LEAD ME TO THINK THAT IN YOUR EYES IM A DIRTY CHILD MOLESTER. I MEAN, YA, I JOKE. I DO FIND A FEW 13-15 YEAR OLDS ATTRACTIVE, AND YES, YOUR SON IS ONE OF THEM. BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE...I AM ENGAGED, AND FURTHERMORE I AM NOT IN A HURRY TO GO TO JAIL FOR STATUTORY RAPE. ESPECAILLY NOT WHEN IM GOING TO SCHOOL TO BE AN ELEMENTARY TEACHER. HOW COMFORTABLE AM I GONNA FEEL AROUND YOUR KIDS NOW, KNOWING THAT YOU THINK WHAT YOU DO ABOUT ME. AND WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST ASK ME ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF ASSUMING THE WORST AND LOSING YOUR TRUST IN ME. I HAVE BEEN TURNING HIM DOWN FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS, BECAUSE I KNOW ITS WRONG.

WHATEVER DUDE...

WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE ME???


OK, now that that's out of my system...I DID NOT FUCK YOUR SON!!! HE'S 14 FUCKING YEARS OLD. MY GOD, DO YOU THINK I WANT TO GO TO JAIL??? AND IN ANY CASE, YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, WITH THE CONDITION THAT I DIDN'T TELL YOU. OBVISOULY I DIDN'T TELL YOU, (BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN) SO WHY AM I SUDDENLY NOT ALLOWED TO BE AROUND MY ONLY FRIEND THAT LIVES IN HAYTI???

MY SORRIES

**I'm sorry that I was having a bad day. I see now that this is sinful.

**I'm sorry that "everyone" has been ragging on you. I will try my hardest to control them from now on, because I would hate to get yelled at for it again.

**I'm sorry that I didn't find the water balloon assult fun at the time. I understand now that I should always wish to partake in whatever my friends are planning, and genuinely enjoy it. In my defense, at least I went with you, despite the fact I didn't want to, and I didn't stop anyone from doing anything, and I almost had fun.

I honestly am sorry for hurting your feelings, and also (perhaps more-so) for making Terry think he was the worst boyfriend ever (especailly since I NEVER said he was). I've had my strike at you, and you had yours back at me. I'm over it, and I hope you will be soon, too, because you're an awesome, fun person.

So I'm Slightly Annoyed...

**THIS POST HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO VARIOUS FACTORS, INCLUDING THE UNLAWFULLNESS OF MY BEING UPSET WHILE AUTHORING IT, AND SOMEONE'S INABILITY TO HONOR THE DISCLAIMER.

**that i have NEGATIVE 160 dollars right now and a 200 bill to CellOne. The negative balance is due to my bank being SHITHEADS all of a sudden...and the large cell bill is partially due to that reason as well.

**my favorite one of kristy's guinnea pigs died, both of my fish (Akira and Tiberious)died, kristy's kitten (Padawan),whom i loved, died, my hamster (Chibi) is deathly ill...

**that people like to talk about me behind my back to other people, then lie about it to me

**that everyone dislikes my boyfriend. I love him more than i ever did, and left and right people are telling me i shouldnt be with him, when they dont know shit

**people are also telling me not to be friends with the people i choose...but i am used to that...